Wouldn't That Save You
by you'lllovemeandI'll loveyou
Summary: One night. One night can change everything.
1. The night that changed everything

Wouldn't That Save You?

(I don't own the Flash)

Chapter 1

…..

I stood in front of my mirror, applying one final coat of hairspray and carefully applying my eyeliner. Tonight I was going out. I was going to find some random guy and get over my ridiculous feelings for Barry Allen.

Ever since that 'kiss' in the lab I had found myself struggling to be around him and when Ronnie came back I thought that they would go away, I mean my fiancé was back I should be the happiest girl in the world! …. But even as I married Ronnie I still those feelings nagging me in the back of my head and I hated myself for it.

And then Ronnie died and I was heartbroken all over again, no matter what I loved him and he was just…. gone.

And now 1 year later I was having trouble with those feelings all over again and Barry…. Barry was still pining after Iris. The love of his life.

I shook my head and refocused on my make-up, I was not going to cry again.

…

As I entered the club I immediately regretted not inviting Cisco or someone to come me, the club was dark with flashing lights all over the place and there was some fake smoke drifting over the dance floor where people were gyrating all over each other. Even the bar was surrounded by people, I somehow managed to squeeze through the mass of people and get to the bar where I ordered a vodka and lemonade.

"Hey beautiful" I heard a voice from behind me murmur, I turned my head and there was a guy behind me. This guy was ridiculously good looking, he looked like he just came out of a romance novel with his tousled auburn hair and glittering blue eyes. He was perfect.

And I felt _nothing._

Because no matter how nice the auburn colour of his hair was I only wanted to see the brown hair of a certain speedster and no matter how much his blue eyes sparkled I only felt my heart stop when I saw a pair of green eyes that made me feel like I was at home.

I gave him a quick smile and turned back to the bar, taking a big sip of my drink and looking around the club.

And then my eyes crossed paths with a certain pair of green ones and I froze.

 _Of course he was here_

I quickly looked down at my drink silently cursing myself and praying he hadn't seen me. After a minute I looked up and he was staring at me, I gave him a quick awkward smile and wave and was about to shout out to him when a hand landed next to me.

I turned and Mr Romance Novel was standing there "Hi" he smiled showing me his perfect white teeth "I'm sorry but you're gorgeous and I was hoping you'd let me buy you a drink?"

I flushed red and quickly glanced back over to where Barry was. He was gone. My heart sunk, I grabbed my drink and downed it in one go "Actually" I said turning back to Mr Romance Novel "A drink is just what I need right now thanks"

He let out a small laugh and ordered me some cocktail with a sleazy name while I tried to force all thoughts of Barry from my mind.

I settled into some small talk with Mr Romance Novel whose name was actually Dave while sipping at the blue drink he bought me for a while until the music sped up and everyone rushed to get on the dance floor. I looked over and saw Barry dancing with some blonde girl who looked like she belonged on a magazine.

Suddenly I felt sick to my stomach and lurched off my seat, grabbing my bag as I staggered towards the exit. I heard Dave calling out to me and his hands grabbing my wrist, pulling me to the darker part of the club near the lounge area.

What was happening? It hurt seeing Barry like that but it never affected me this much, the room was spinning and all the colours were too bright. I tried to blink away the dizziness and pulled at my wrist trying to clasp my hands over my ears to stop the ringing but Dave's grip just tightened.

 _The drink!_

He pushed me against a wall while I tried to push him off me but I was so tired and I just wanted to sleep "Stop…. please" I slurred

"Shhh baby, you'll have fun I promise" he whispered pressing his mouth against my ear while I tried to wriggle away from him. He tightened his grip on my wrist and I winced, knowing there'll be bruises there tomorrow.

"No... I… I don't want to… please stop" I cried out trying to push him off me with my free hand but failing miserably

He backhanded me across the face and then slammed me up against the wall squeezing my side too tightly "You little bitch, you think you can tease me and then say no. You wanted this, I knew you did from the moment I saw you."

His hand was just starting to snake up the blue glittery dress I had picked out for tonight when he was ripped off of me and I slumped to the floor not being able to keep up my own weight.

My vision was suddenly obscured by a pair of frantic green eyes.

…..

Barry's POV

I watched as Caitlin turned back to the guy she was with and quickly grabbed my drink, going back to Patty not wanting to see anymore.

I tried to push all the jealous thoughts out of my head as Patty and I talked with the few other work people we had gone out with but all I could think about was Caitlin back there with that sleazy guy who looked like had stepped out of an erotic novel.

Suddenly the music sped up and Patty grabbed my hand "c'mon we have to dance I love this song"

I let her drag me up to the dancefloor and tried my best to just concentrate on her but then I looked at the bar and I couldn't see Caitlin anymore. Had she gone home with him?

I gently pushed away from Patty and looked around. I started to push through the crowds of people, I don't know why but a feeling of dread passed through me and it just fuelled me to find her faster.

What I found will be burned into my memory for the rest of my life, I would have nightmares about this for years to come.

Caitlin was propped up against the wall, eyes half closed and hands limply trying to push off the body pressed against her, she was crying and I could see his hand starting to make its way up her dress.

I ripped him off of her "Hey get your fucking hands off of her!" I shout decking him once before going to Caitlin who was crumpled on the floor, eyes slightly glazed over and head lolling around.

"Cait? Caitlin are you ok?" I tilt her head up with one hand, trying to get her to look at me but her eyes are unfocused "Cait talk to me okay, focus on me" I shout for an ambulance and then turn to face the guy who had his hands on her.

Patty and another person from the club are restraining him "What did you give her?" he smirks at me and if it wasn't for the limp girl in my arms I would have happily punched that smirk off of his face "Tell me what the fuck you gave her or so help me I'll-"

"Barry!" Patty interrupts, looking down at the girl in my arms, Caitlin's eyes have closed.

"No, no Caitlin? Caitlin open your eyes! C'mon look at me!" I gently slap the side of her face, hoping to rouse her but she stays unconscious.

Patty manages to get the name of the drug out of the sleazebag as the paramedics are arriving, I mouth my thanks to her and focus on the girl in front of me being worked on.

"She's stable but we need to get her to the hospital as soon as possible"

I go in the ambulance with her, leaving Patty to deal with the legal stuff and once we arrive they whisk her away, leaving me to my own thoughts.

Could I have stopped this?

What if she didn't make it?

I phoned Cisco and explained what was going on, telling him to hurry to the hospital and to bring Wells with him before collapsing into an uncomfortable chair in the waiting room.

It was going to be a long night.

…..

Reviews please!


	2. The aftermath

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 2

(I don't own the Flash)

…..

(Barry's POV)

I sat by the hospital bed, waiting for Caitlin to wake up. Cisco was in the chair to my right taking a nap while Wells was out seeing if he could find out any information on the man who did this.

The doctor said that Caitlin was fine, that her unconsciousness was just her body's way of healing, that they had gotten all of the drug out of her system and while she will need further tests that there was no sign of damage yet.

But that was 24 hours ago and she still had yet to wake.

When I had called Cisco yesterday, he's rushed to the hospital. He'd already lost Ronnie, twice. He couldn't lose Caitlin too. I was shocked as the humorous man who scolded me over the states of my suits and played practical jokes at work was ashen when he came in and marched up to the nurses' station and demanded to know what state Caitlin was in.

Now that he was assured that she would be fine he spent the last day pretty much buying out the gift shop, her room was full of an array of brightly coloured flowers, balloons, teddy bears and get well cards. She would have been blushing at the sheer number of things in her room had she seen them.

But she was still asleep in her bed, the blue hospital gown bringing no colour to her pale skin. She was too pale, I missed seeing the pretty colour of her cheeks when she blushed or laughed hard at one of Cisco's jokes.

When she woke up I was determined to get that colour back.

I look to my right and watch as Cisco snores soundly, I nudge him awake gently "Hey man why don't you go home and get some sleep? Or at least go and get some coffee? Your back must be killing you sleeping in that thing"

He sluggishly nods, telling me to call him if anything changes and says that he'll update Iris when he's outside.

Iris.

I just realise that I hadn't thought about her in the past 24 hours. Not even once. But that was normal right, I mean my close friend was in danger of her life. I had to be focused on her. So why did I find it hard to think of her now, even though Caitlin would be okay?

I shake the thoughts from my head and refocus on the girl beside me "Cait, the doctors said that they had no way of knowing if you can hear me, I know that you can. I need you to wake up, please just open your eyes. I should have been there, should have stopped this from happening, I'm so sorry just please wake up and I'll make it up to you"

She remains silent and for a second my heart sinks in disappointment, but then I notice her hand twitching. I instinctively reach out and grab it "Caitlin? Can you hear me? Squeeze my hand if you can hear me"

I feel a gentle yet firm pressure against my palm and break out in a huge smile, her eyes start to flutter open and once I see her brown eyes again all the anxiety and stress washes away. I breathe out a sigh "Your awake, thank god"

She goes to pull away the oxygen cannula under her nose and my hand goes to grab hers, I feel a spark when our skin touches and resist the urge to pull away in shock. What was that? "Hey don't pull at that, I know you're a doctor so you know that it's pretty important to leave those as they are" I say

"Hospital?" she croaks out, confused by her surroundings

I nod "Yeah you're in the hospital. Do you remember what happened?"

She doesn't answer back for a while, she closes her eyes and for a second I think she's gone back to sleep until I see her brow furrow. Like she's trying to focus on something.

"Yeah…... the bar… the guy must have put something in my drink…. It's all blurry" she squints at me "You saved me. Thankyou"

I'm about to reply when a nurse comes in to check Caitlin over, once she notices that she's awake she pages a doctor while I'm pushed out the room so they can do some tests. I text Cisco to come back and also send a text out to Iris and Wells letting them know Caitlin was ok before sitting in the chair outside of her room.

He hears running eventually and looks up, Cisco is running towards him. His arms are full of junk food from the vending machines and yet another teddy bear "What happened?!"

"She's awake! She squeezed my hand and opened her eyes and talked to me, they're just running some more tests right now" I say gleefully (shout out to any gleeks, get the reference?)

He gives me a bright smile, sitting beside me and passing me a packet of chips that have a picture of the flash on the front "Thought you'd find it funny" he says with a smirk.

We sit there in silence, eating junk food and waiting patiently to be allowed back into the room. Eventually the doctors come out "She seems to be fine, we've done some more tests and there seems to be no damage to her brain. We'll have to redo some more tests in the future but I feel confident that she will make a full recovery, I've also recommended a counsellor to help her deal with the psychological impact. You can see her now"

We give him our thanks and race inside, she's sitting up in the bed now, the cannula gone and a little more colour in her skin "hey" she says with a faint smile, I can't help but notice the look in her eye though. I can't place my finger on the look.

"how're you feeling snow?" Cisco asks coming up to her left side and placing the teddy bear on the side of the bed while I take the right side.

"Tired. Is that strange considering how long I've been unconscious?"

"Yes and just so you know you are never allowed to sleep again. I mean it I don't ever want to be scared like that again" he jokes lightly chuckling

'I'm sorry, I'll try and not get drugged at a bar again" she says sarcastically

"They got the guy you know, this one over here saved your life and then got his work friends to arrest him. He's being held in a cell downtown" he says, I look at him wondering how he knows this and he explains "I called Wells while I was out"

Caitlin stifles a yawn and I notice how tired she looks "We'll let you sleep, I'll be back later on" I say squeezing her arm "I'm really glad you're okay"

Cisco says his goodbyes and promises to be back with more things from the gift shop, making Caitlin chuckle and protest before we leave.

"She looks good" Cisco says "Do you think she was serious about the gift shop?"

I laugh and walk off.

…

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	3. Holding on and Letting Go

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 3

(I don't own the flash)

…

(Caitlin's POV)

It had been a week since the 'incident', I had been let out of the hospital two days after waking up and Cisco and Barry insisted that I at least take a couple of days off. I had spent the last few days shutting everyone out, trying to sleep and catching up on some work that I had taken home when I found that sleep was almost impossible.

I tried my best not to think about it or what could've happened had Barry not been there for a work outing, the sheer terror I felt while I was losing control of my body from the drug or the way his cold hand crept up my dress.

I shuddered thinking about it and felt my eyes start to prickle. I quickly shook it off, I was not going to cry, I had managed to keep the tears away so far and I didn't want to start now. If I started to cry I didn't know if I'd ever stop.

I looked at the time, 11:43pm. _I'll just quickly go down to Star Labs and grab some more work. Everyone will have gone by now_.

I am in fact in for a surprise when after grabbing some more papers and checking a few things I bump into Barry.

"Caitlin hey! What are you doing here so late?" he asks

"Couldn't sleep" I shrug "You?"

"Same I guess, plus I wanted to check on something. Why can't you sleep? Is it…what happened?"

"I-I can't stop thinking about it…. Or what would have happened if you hadn't been there" I start to shake "How did this happen to me? I'm supposed to be smart so how did this happen?"

He grabs my biceps gently and I try to resist the urge to flinch, the mere thought of someone touching me had me mentally in the foetal position these days.

"Caitlin what happened was not your fault! That man was a sick pervert and you did nothing wrong okay? Don't think about what could have happened because it didn't, I was there. You're safe now" he says

I didn't know if I'd ever feel safe again but still I fake a smile to him and let him hug me, he didn't need to know that I was suffering. He had enough on his plate with being the flash and Iris, he didn't my problems dragging him down.

Instead I smile and make small talk, asking him about Iris and ignoring the tiny ray of hope that sparks in me when he said that he was trying to move on from her. I listen to him talk about his work and laugh at his jokes and respond when he asks about my life.

And despite the fact that none of the smiles or laughs are real I can't help but take a little comfort in his presence.

…

(Barry's POV)

Slowly Caitlin begins to get back into her normal routine, I can tell that her smiles are fake and notice that she is biting her lip a lot more than usual signalling that something is bothering her but I want her to talk about it when she feels ready and I'm not going to push her.

She comes back to work almost two weeks after it happened and immediately is back in work mode, she's here before I arrive and leaves after us and I can only assume that she isn't sleeping much judging by the dark shadows under her eyes that she tries to cover up.

I watch over her, careful not to notify her of my watching her. I bring in lunch and make sure that she eats. I tell stupid science jokes that make her roll her eyes and try my best not to get too badly injured during fights. The last thing she needs is more stress.

I try not to take to heart the way she flinches when I get close or when Cisco wraps an arm around her. It'll take time for her to trust again and I once again feel rage towards the man that did this to her.

Everything seems okay until one day almost 5 weeks after the incident when Caitlin gets a phone call leaves the room to take it. When she comes back she is ashen and her hands are shaking.

"Caitlin you okay?" I ask

She doesn't seem to hear me and instead goes over to her workplace. She lets out a scream and slams her hands down onto her desk, sweeping almost everything off the table onto the floor with a crash. I jump at the sound and watch as she starts to throw things onto the floor, she violently kicks at her desk with her pointed heels, her body shuddering violently.

Cisco jumps up "What the hell? Caitlin what are you doing?" he asks astounded by this violent, angry version of Caitlin.

I hold up a hand to him "Cisco go" he tries to protest but I turn to him "It's okay, she's okay but I need you to leave. I'll call you when she's calmed down"

He reluctantly leaves and I turn my attention back to Caitlin has now somehow found a bat and is slamming it down onto her desk, an anguished yell with every hit.

I slowly approach her "Caitlin you need to stop, you're going to hurt yourself. C'mon just try and breathe with me" I say and she stares at me, a look of devastation in her eyes.

"That was the police…. he pleaded guilty so they already sentenced him…I didn't want to go; I-I didn't think I could. He only got four years, less on good behaviour" she shudders as she says this "four years after he tried to… how can this happen? How can they only give him four years?!" she yells going back to her desk and hitting it again.

The desk begins to crack, the glass panels breaking from the force of the hits "He drugged me!" she yells "He's the reason I flinch whenever anyone gets close" another hit "He's the reason I can't sleep" another hit "He tried to rape me!" she yells and hit the desk one final time before it shatters, glass littering the floors.

I go and gently grab her wrists, pulling her to me, her back to my chest and she finally breaks down in tears "He tried to _rape_ me" she whimpers as if she's only just realising what had happened that night.

I let go of her wrists and instead wrap my arms around her middle, feeling her body shake with sobs that have been held back for far too long "It's okay Caitlin, it's okay just let it out. I've got you, it's okay" I whisper into her ear.

She breaks apart in my arms, the weight of the last few weeks becoming too heavy on her mind and her knees buckle. She falls forward onto the broken glass, cutting her knees though she didn't even seem to notice. I pick her up from the floor and take her over to one of the medical stations.

Usually it's the other way around, me bleeding and her bandaging me up. I rather it that way I think as I pick the shards of glass out of her knees while her sobs die down into whimpers. Once her knees are bandaged up I sit on the bed beside her.

"he's not getting away with this" I say through clenched teeth, the mere thought that that slimeball would be out in less than four years was enough to make me want to go after him.

She sighs "Barry" she tries to convince me but I'm not hearing it

"No. He is not getting away with this okay, you need to be able to sleep, you need to be able to feel safe so he is not getting away with this. When he gets out I'll make sure he'll never be able to do this to anyone ever again I promise"

She shakes her head, a few tears falling as she does "No"

"But he c-"she cuts me off

"You're a good person Barry one of the best I know. You could never…. I would never want you to do something that would change the person you are"

"But he _hurt_ you, he can't go free Cait. He just can't" she grasps my chin with one hand

"I'm okay Barry. I'm okay and I just want this to be over okay, if we go after him, if we kill him then we'd be just as bad and I won't let him win that way. I won't"

I smile at her, taking her hand and she gives me a watery chuckle "We are quite the pair, Mr Allen"

I think back to the first time we said that and notice how her hand seems to fit perfectly in mine

"yes we are, Dr Snow"

…


	4. I Won't Give Up

Wouldn't that save you

Chapter 4

(I don't own the flash)

…..

(Caitlin's POV)

Barry rarely left my side now, he'd come to my home and stayed with me that night, said that he wanted to help and he did. When I woke from my usual nightmares he was there to comfort me and he'd stayed over almost every night ever since.

I knew getting this close was dangerous, considering my feelings for him but whenever he was close I felt safe and at the moment I needed that safety.

I tried my best not to think about that man anymore, whenever I did I felt this rage surge inside of me and it scared me how angry I got. I didn't want for this to change me.

Slowly I got back to normal, the smiles becoming less fake and the laughs more genuine. I hung out with Cisco and laughed at his latest nicknames for the new Metahumans we'd found and worked on a few new projects with Barry and Wells.

I'd also gotten to know Patty Spivot, one of Barry's work friends and the cop who'd helped saved me, she'd recommended a great PTSD counsellor who I saw once a week and we'd become friends.

I was finally getting back to where I was before all of this happened.

I was grabbing some coffees for everyone on the way to Star Labs from jitters, I saw Iris there and awkwardly waved. She'd withdrawn from team flash a little since Eddie's death. Not that I could blame her, I knew the pain she was suffering.

A hand squeezed my waist and I tensed up, spinning around and finding myself pressed against the counter by a tall, tanned blonde guy "Hey beautiful"

I was immediately brought back to that night; _he_ had said the same thing. I dropped the coffees on the floor, the scalding liquid splashing my legs and burning them before I bolted out of the shop. I somehow managed to get to star labs through my tears and raced to my desk, keeping my head down.

I sat down at my desk and placed my head in my hands, taking a few deep breaths and trying to stop the tears rolling down my cheeks. I had about 2 minutes of peace before Barry walked in.

"Hey Cait I was looking over the charts for th- Are you okay?" he asked noticing I was wiping the tear marks from my cheeks

"I'm fine" I sniffed "It's stupid really"

He comes over, noticing the angry red blotches on my legs "What happened?" he asked

"I went to get coffee for everyone before work and this guy…." I was so embarrassed

"What's his name? Did he do this to you?" He asked worry etched on his features

"No, I don't even know his name. He was just so close and then he said the same thing that _he_ said that night and I freaked out. Dropped the coffees on the floor and ran here, I'm so humiliated" I said pressing my face into my hands again.

He gently takes them away from my face "Stop Cait there's nothing to be embarrassed about, you went through something incredibly traumatic. It's going to take time to heal"

"I know I just, I thought I'd been doing so well"

"Hey there's no time limit on how long it takes for you to heal, you just take it one day at a time and go from there. And Cisco and I will be right there beside you" he squeezes my hand comfortingly

"Do you think I'll ever be normal again?"

"No"

I reel away from him, hurt by his words but he shakes his head and smiles at me "You were never just normal Cait, you're amazing and you always will be"

I smile at him and give him a quick hug, for once things felt like they'd be okay again.

….

(2 weeks later)

I could do this.

I was ready and I was strong.

I could do this

I could tell Barry how I felt.

I couldn't do this, what if he was still pining after Iris? I had seen the byline; I knew what the future would hold.

 _ **Iris West-Allen**_

How could I compete with that?

I watched as Barry ran on the treadmill, it was time for his monthly physical. I tried not to look at his abs, or his hair or his eyes….

Damnit! I was a scientist and a damn good one, I would not let my feelings interfere with my work. Wells came in, a tablet on his lap and talking about how he thought he could get Barry to go faster. I noticed Cisco wasn't with him and spoke up

"Where's Cisco?"

"He said he was going out for a bit, meeting Lisa or something I wasn't really listening"

Golden Glider? "Is it really smart for him to be involved with a villain? Or former villain?"

"Should you be really asking that? I mean considering you kissed Everyman you don't really have much of a leg to stand on"

"I didn't know it was everyman!" I blurt out

"Wait what?

Shit.

I looked to Barry, he looked confused and as if he was trying to figure something out in his head.

"Everyman? But he never met Ronnie so who did he turn into…. Oh. _Oh_ "

I couldn't look at him any longer and rushed off, for once the world's fastest man was too stunned to come after me. I went to the basement and started to pace.

 _What was I going to do? How could I face him after this?_

I wrung my hands out in anxiousness, the last few weeks we'd been getting closer and now it was all ruined. The look on his face when he figured it out kept running through my mind, a mixture of shock and confusion. I bit into my lip harshly and continued to pace for god knows how long. Maybe I could live down here, at least I wouldn't have to deal with his rejection.

I was interrupted by the sound of footsteps behind me, I knew it was him but I continued to pace, not willing to look him in the eye.

"I've been looking everywhere for you!" he says coming up to me and gently grabbing my shoulders, stopping me from my pacing "Why did you run off?"

"Because I'm embarrassed, I didn't want you to find out that way"

"So you were going to tell me? When?"

"I don't know! I didn't know how to tell you; I didn't want to make things weird"

A look of shame and guilt passes over his face "Caitlin I'm so sorry, did he hurt you? I swear if he wasn't dead already I'd kill him myself"

"No he didn't hurt me we just talked, I think he was trying to get information…. And then he spun me said something about doing something 'he should have done a long time ago' and kissed me. I pushed him away at first but then he kissed me again… and I let him" I blush flash red as I explain, ignoring the urge to run away.

Wouldn't be smart to try and run from the fastest man alive.

He doesn't speak straight away, his brow crinkling as he frowns as if he's having trouble taking in the information, about ten seconds passes before he asks "Why?"

"Because I…. Because I thought it was you, because I wanted it to be you. Because I have feelings for you"

He straightens up at this, his eyes widening and his hands dropping from my wrists.

I panic, immediately trying to fix this situation "But it's okay Barry, I know you love Iris. You're meant to be with Iris, I understand. I would never try and interfere with that. Please if this is going to affect our friendship then just forget about it okay? I need you as a friend more than anything"

He's still standing there frozen and I take that as my cue to rush out of there before it gets even more awkward or painful. My heart is breaking as I run home, the tears of humiliation and heartbreak pricking my eyes.

Once I'm inside I break down, sobbing against the door. I'd ruined everything

In these circumstances I'd usually go and put a sappy movie on while eating a carton of ice-cream from the freezer, but somehow I don't think that will help this time. I'd lost him, I'd lost Barry and there was nothing I could do about it.

I sat there crying until I had no more tears left, I eventually dragged myself up changing from the dark blue blouse and black pencil skirt I had worn to work into a star labs jumper and my black pyjama shorts.

There was a knock at the door and I inwardly groaned, Cisco probably would have heard by now and had come to comfort me. I was pretty sure he had suspected on my feelings for the superhero.

I went to the door and opened it, not bothering to look in the peephole. But it wasn't Cisco.

It was Barry

He was standing there with his hands in his pockets and a look on his face that I couldn't decipher.

"You've got to stop running off before we finish a conversation" he says and I step aside letting him into my apartment.

"What are you doing here Barry?" I said crossing my arms over my chest, I knew that all the crying had made me look awful and now I was even more embarrassed that he is seeing me this way.

He looks towards my eyes and must have noticed that they were red or that my cheeks were still damp "You've been crying" he said bringing his hand up as if to brush my cheek with it before stopping himself and letting it hang by his side again.

"You left before I could talk" he says

"And what would you have said, look Barry I already know that you're in love with Iris I don't need to hear it again"

"That's not what I was going to say!" he protests

"Then what were you going to say? Look Barry maybe you should just forget what I said okay? I really don't want this to ruin our friendship and I can let you go I promise I just need ti- "

I'm cut off by his hands cupping my face and his lips crashing down on mine, like the everyman incident I'm too stunned to do anything for a few seconds but soon relax and reciprocate the kiss.

I'm in heaven, I must be dreaming or something because there is now way that Barry Allen is actually kissing me right now. He uses his speed to quickly press me up to the nearest wall and my arms wind around his neck.

Eventually we have to break apart for air, I groan when we part and he chuckles. We're both flushed and slightly panting and my heart feels so full it could burst, if this is a dream then I don't ever want to wake up.

"I don't want you to let me go, please don't let me go" he breathes, our foreheads are pressed together and I can feel his warm breath hit my face.

"But I thought…... Iris…"

He shakes his head, smiling at me "I'm not going to lie and say that I don't feel anything towards her at all, she'll always be a part of my family but I don't want that type of future with her anymore. Someone else stole my heart"

I blush furiously but my heart swells with every word "I tried to move on from you, that night at the bar. When _it_ happened, I was trying to forget about you"

"That night when I thought that I might lose you, when you wouldn't wake up. I have never been so terrified in my entire life Cait. If you had died I don't know what I would've done and now I know that you were only there because of me… this is all my fault" he tries to pull away but I'm not having any of it.

"None of that was your fault Barry, you _saved_ me. I probably wouldn't be here now if you hadn't been there. I was there because I was too scared to tell you how I felt, none of that is on you" I look him in the eyes as I talk, making sure that he understands what I'm saying.

"But I- "

"No. You told me that what happened wasn't my fault remember? That the only one who was at fault was the guy who did that to me. You saved my life Barry and not even for a second do I place even an ounce of the blame onto you"

I initiate the kiss this time, it's sweet and loving and makes butterflies flutter in my stomach. Eventually he responds, his arms go from my face to wind around my waist pulling me tight against his and he deepens the kiss, his tongue pressing against my mouth; asking for entrance.

I opened my mouth and let out a little moan as his tongue slipped into my mouth, my fingers slipping into his hair and tugging a little. He pushes me up against the wall even more and I wrap my legs around his waist, I can feel his hands start to slip up the back of my jumper and pull away gently, gasping when his lips just go to neck instead.

"Maybe we should take this to the bedroom" I say breathily

Within two second we're in my room and standing in front of my bed "Are you sure about this?" he asks as his hands grab the hem of my jumper and pulls it over my head, exposing my black bra.

I respond with a small kiss, starting to unbutton his dark grey button down shirt he had on and running my hands over his chest, his abs. There's a _whoosh!_ And the feeling of wind brushing my face and I find that he is now only in his boxers and my pyjama shorts are off, leaving me in my underwear.

I wind my hands into his hair as he reaches down and grabs one of my legs, pulling it over his waist. I pull the other one up too so both are wrapped around him and he walks us forwards until we hit the bed. We fall onto the bed together, bouncing slightly and laughing. He rests his arms on either side of my head and brushes some hair off my face.

"God your beautiful" I blush deep red at this and attempt to look away but he nudges my chin up with his hand, making me look at him. He brings his lips to mine in a sweet kiss, his hands running up and down my waist in a way that makes me shiver.

He breaks his lips from mine, instead planting them on my neck and biting down slight making me gasp as he latches onto my neck, his tongue swiping over the bite and soothing the pain.

He starts to kiss downwards, over my collarbone and clavicle then down the valley of me breasts, his hand going under the smooth black material of my bra behind my back. He unclasps it with one hand and helps me take it off before taking a moment to look at me.

Despite my urge to cover myself up the look in his eyes tells me not to and I cry out as his mouth kisses one of my breasts lightly. He brushes feather light kisses all over my chest, responding to my moans and whispers by lightly biting down on one nipple while a hands gently caresses the other. He switches between them, taking his time to lavish both of them with attentions and I rub my thighs together in frustration.

He looks up at me a chuckles "Impatient Dr Snow?" he smirks kissing down my stomach and over my navel. He stops just as he gets to the top of my underwear and I let out a small groan. The groan turns into a cry when he flashes both our underwear off leaving both of us stark naked.

He gently presses a finger into me, I moan and grabs the sheets above my head for support as he starts to pump two fingers inside of me. I didn't think I was possible to be happier than I was in this moment.

His fingers curl upwards and hit that spot that makes me scream and I do, "Oh god!" I cry out, writhing under his touch. I feel him press light kisses to both of my hips before pressing his tongue inside me and I lift my hips off the bed slightly, moaning loudly.

His tongue finds my clit and my eyes roll back into my head, I can feel my orgasm approaching and his fingers hit that spot over and over again and I'm overcome with bliss. Colours explode in front of my eyes and I cry out, my toes curling and fingers gripping the sheets.

He comes up to my face smiling and I can feel his hard length pressing against me, I reach down and stroke it a few times before he hands grip my wrist and pulls it back up "If you do that I'm going to cum" he chuckles

"I know, that's kinda the point" I say going to reach down with my other hand, his other hand grips it too and brings it back up.

"I want the first time to be when I'm inside you, we have plenty of time of the other stuff" he says his eyes darkening and making me catch my breath.

I place my hands on either of his shoulders and he repositions himself one hand one either side of me "You're sure?" He asks his green eyes staring into mine.

I kiss him lovingly, pouring all my pent up affection into the kiss, when I pull away he's smiling "Is that enough of an answer for you?"

He gently thrusts forward with a moan, giving me time to adjust to his size. It'd been a while for me but soon enough I was ready for him to start moving and pushed my hips upwards. He smiles and gives me a passionate kiss before thrusting forward again.

I let out a moan and gripped his shoulders, urging him to do it again. He fell into a steady pace thrusting it and out slowly and gripping my hips, pulling me tighter against him. I lock my legs around his waist and whisper in his ear, urging him on.

"Barry…. oh god Barry yes!" I cry out as he hits that spot again

"You're so beautiful" he says kissing my chest, right over my wildly beating heart "You're mine Cait, I'm never going to let you go again" he continues to thrust slowly, taking his time and making sure that our first time is memorable.

"Never" I gasp out digging my nails into his back and extracting a moan from his causing him to thrust harder and deeper. I cry out lifting my hips up to his "Oh God! Do that again!"

He thrusts hard and I bite into his shoulder to stop myself my screaming, suddenly he grabs my calf and pulls my leg over his shoulder. This new position allows him to go deeper and he thrusts hard, I can feel that familiar tingling sensation in the pit of my stomach

I cry out his name as he starts to thrusts harder and faster "Oh god don't stop, please Barry!" I cry out as he groans, his face pressed into my shoulder. I can feel the coil at the bottom of my stomach tightening as my orgasm approaches and grip onto his shoulders tighter.

"Oh god Caitlin, you're amazing" he says pressing a kiss to my shoulder as he thrusts harder.

The coil in my lower abdomen snapped and I came hard. Colours danced in front of my eyes and my skin felt electric, as if sparks were coming off my body as I sobbed Barry's name.

That seemed to do it for him and he came with one final thrust, yelling out my name and falling on top of me, our sweaty body sticking together.

We both took a minute to catch our breath before he pulled out, collapsing on the pillows next to me and pulling me onto his chest.

"Oh. My. God" he says slightly out of breath "We're never leaving this room; we're never leaving this bed" I laugh and he pulls me close to him, giving me a short kiss.

"That was good right? It wasn't just me?" I ask

"It was amazing Cait, you're amazing"

"You were pretty amazing yourself Mr Allen"

"Do you want me to show you how amazing I am again?" he says, his fingers lightly grazing my breast.

"Only if you feel up to it, for the fastest man alive you sure do look a little puffed" I say with a smirk.

He rolls us over suddenly, grabbing my hands and pinning them above my head as I shriek with delight "Super healing, remember?"

We spend the rest of the night getting acquainted with each other's bodies and making up for lost time and fall asleep intertwined. No matter what tomorrow brought we would face it, together.

…


	5. Another Day, Another Threat

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 5

(I don't own the flash)

…..

Things had been going well for Barry and Caitlin the last couple of months, they spent most of their time together and Barry spent most nights at Caitlin's place. Team Flash had been able to successfully take down a few Metahumans who threatened or terrorised the city and tonight they were going out to the karaoke bar Caitlin and Barry once visited along with Iris to celebrate.

….

(Caitlin's POV)

I threw dress after dress on my bed, trying to find something to wear for tonight. It was the first time Iris would be hanging out with us since Eddie died and Barry and I began a relationship and for some reason I wanted to impress her. She was Barry's family, if she didn't like me then how would this relationship work?

Barry came in behind me laughing "Cait what are you doing?'" he asked picking up a pretty green dress with a black sash around the waist.

"I'm trying to find something to wear for tonight" I said rifling through my closet

He laughed again "Does it really matter? You'll look gorgeous in whatever you wear"

I turn and glare at him "Yes Barry it does matter, we're going out with Iris! What if she doesn't approve of our relationship? I need to make a good impression" I turn back to my drawers again.

"Cait, I know she hasn't been around much after what happened with Eddie but I know she likes you guys. And even if she had a problem with our relationship it wouldn't matter, it's my life not hers and I choose to spend it with you"

He comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist "You really should just pick a dress; we're supposed to be there in an hour"

My hand comes into contact with something rough and I pull the dress out, it's the dress I wore on my night out with Barry, I still don't remember all of that night.

"What about this one?" I say holding up the sequined dress

He chuckles "Not that one"

"What? Why not?"

"Because" he says pressing his mouth to my neck "if you wear that I don't think I'll be able to control myself. I doubt we'd ever make it to the bar". His hands start tugging at the knot in the belt of my robe and I grab his hands, spinning around.

"I thought you said we needed to be there soon"

"I can be quick" he says, untying the knot and pulling my robe open.

I quirk my eyebrow at him "Hopefully not too quick"

He picks me and flashes us to the bed, laughing the way there.

….

We arrive ten minutes late, I'm wearing a dark blue sundress and a black cardigan with some nice black heels and he's pulled on a dark grey shirt and dark blue jeans. I had barely anytime to put of makeup, only applying mascara and some red lipstick and running a brush through my tousled hair.

"Where have you guys been? We've already ordered our drinks" Cisco reprimands, holding up his red drink with a yellow umbrella in it as proof

"Sorry we got caught it leaving the apartment" Barry says with a smile and I elbow him in the ribs "Ow!"

"What on earth are you drinking?" I ask looking at the drink in his hand

"Not really sure, it's called a 'Flash' and it's supposed to get you drunk faster than any other drink. Thought it'd be funny if I got it" he says taking a sip and then grimacing.

I turn to Iris who has a gin and tonic in her hand "Hi Iris" I say smiling at her. She surprises me by giving me a big smile and pulling me in for a hug "Hey Cait! You guys I love this place! How come none of us have ever done karaoke?"

"Caitlin and I did once" Barry blurts out

I blush flash red "Barry!'

"When was this?" Iris asks, interested

"A while back, we both wanted to get out more often so we went here. I couldn't get drunk but Caitlin sure did. And then we sang Grease right up there on that stage" he says pointing to the stage with the microphones.

I groan and cover my face with my hands with Cisco bursts out laughing "You got Caitlin to sing? In public? God I've only ever heard her sing once before and let me tell you it was not something I want a repeat of"

"Well don't worry Cisco, it's never going to happen again. Not with Mr Disney Prince over here" I say gesturing to Barry "Have you heard him sing? It's like he should have been in glee or something"

"Well now I'm curious" Cisco says turning to Barry

"Yeah Barry, I haven't heard you sing in ages!" Iris chimes in

I smile sweetly at him, as if telling him that this was payback for telling them about the karaoke in the first place. He groans and pulls himself up, going over to the stage and picking out a song.

The first few chords of Ed Sheeran's _Photograph_ start to play throughout the bar.

" _Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes but it's the only thing that I know_

 _When it gets hard, you know it can get hard sometimes._

 _It is the only thing that makes us feel alive"_

His eyes lock into mine and I smile.

" _We keep this love in a photograph, we make these memories for ourselves._

 _Where our eyes are never closing, Hearts are never broken_

 _Times forever frozen still_

 _So you can keep me, inside the pocket of your ripped jeans_

 _Holding me closer til our eyes meet_

 _You won't ever be alone_

 _Wait for me to come home"_

He's about to break into the second chorus when an explosion rips though the bar, sending everything into blackness.

….

I wake to the faint smell of smoke and the sound of screaming, I'm lying on the floor, ash and dirt covering me and I slowly get up, wincing at the burn that was across my arm and the ringing in my ears.

Iris is standing up, supported by Cisco as she limps towards me, her ankle obviously twisted. Cisco has a cut on his head that is still bleeding but looks otherwise fine.

Barry

Where's Barry?

I turn around to where the stage once was, he's already getting up and looks like he's ok. I have never been so grateful for his super healing then I was in that moment.

"Barry!" I cry out running to him.

His eyes snap up at the sound of my voice and he catches me in his arms, holding me tightly "Caitlin! Oh my god, are you ok? Are you hurt?" he asks pulling me back and looking me over

"A bump on the head and a burn but I'll be fine, Iris has hurt her ankle. We need to get out of here! There's still people stuck in here" I cry out, shock running through me as I looked around the bar. There was a lot of fire, many people had been badly burnt and from what I could see, smoke was slowly filling the room. We needed to get everyone out now.

"Well well Flash I guess you really are as invincible as the say" A voice say from behind us

We turn and there is a man standing in the middle of what used to be the bar, he's in a suit similar to Barry's only black and the face mask is different.

"Who are you?" Barry shouts, pulling me behind him

"I'm Zoom. And I'm going to take away everything you hold dear, your world will be mine" He says

"Why are you doing this? I've never even met you!" Barry argues getting ready to fight if he has to.

"Because Flash, there can only be one speedster! I'll be back soon, enjoy your world while you can" he taunts before flashing out of there.

He's a metahuman. Just like Barry

We help get everyone out of the burning bar, thankfully there were only minor injuries. After we're all checked over at the hospital and bandaged up we head off, Iris gets Joe to pick her up from the hospital and Cisco waves his goodbyes. I can tell that Barry is scared by this new threat, his fists clenching and unclenching the whole way back to my apartment. Once we're inside I have a quick shower and change out of my ash covered clothing and pass Barry some pyjamas from the drawer full of his things.

He has a fast shower and then comes into my room, I'm sitting cross-legged on the bed waiting for him. I can tell by the way his body is tense and his jaw is clenched that he's stressed out.

"Barry talk to me" I say grabbing his arm and pulling him down to sit beside me

"He's a metahuman Cait, looks even faster than I am. I don't know how we're going to beat this guy" he confesses, running his hands through his hair.

"we'll figure it out Barry, you're not alone in this. Not all of this has to fall on your shoulders" I say wrapping my arms around him and resting my chin on his shoulder.

"I know it's just, I'm putting you in danger just by being here. I'm putting all of you in danger and I'm so sorry Cait, I shouldn't be dragging you into this"

I frown and pull away, instead turning his head to look at me "Hey. You're not dragging me into anything Barry Allen, I'm a grown woman who is perfectly capable of making her own decisions. And I'm choosing to be here. I'm positive the others feel the same way"

"But I-"

"No more buts! We'll figure this out the way we always do, the way we always have" I say releasing his face and taking his hands in my much smaller ones.

"Together"

…..


	6. Alter-Egos and Bad Guys

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 6

…

(Caitlin's POV)

Over the next few weeks everyone worked relentlessly on trying to find a way to defeat Zoom, Barry and Wells discussed various strategies and moves, Cisco tried to see if there was anything he could do to adjust to suit and make it better and I tried to figure out if there was any way of slowing Zoom down.

Iris kept an ear of for any special metahumans in the news that could have anything to do with Zoom and we all kept a close watch on the city, keeping a lookout for him. Most nights Barry stayed at Star Labs, practicing new techniques and trying to get his speed up, I didn't sleep very well without him so most of the time I joined him and we both worked into very late at night, using our work as an excuse for our sleepless nights rather than face the truth.

That we were terrified that at any given moment Zoom would come back and take everything, destroying our lives or even possibly ending them.

I woke up alone on the couch in the lab alone yet again, as I sat up and wiped the sleep from my eyes I heard the sound of the treadmill running. Every morning I would wake to find Barry persistently training, I sighed and got up, going over to where my clothes were. I always brought an extra pair of clothes just in case I either slept overnight or if Barry and I got a little too _adventurous_ in the lab.

It was early enough that I knew Cisco and Wells wouldn't be in so I didn't bother putting on my clothes just yet. Just grabbed Barry's green button down and wore it over my underwear. I walked over to my station, checking over his vitals and glanced up at him, watching as he ran.

Eventually I made him stop, citing that if he ran too much and overworked himself and became dehydrated it wouldn't help anyone. I tossed him a bottle of water after he had a quick shower and he groaned as he noticed my attire.

"You should always dress like that" he smirks looking me up and down.

I smiled, playing with the hem of the shirt "Really? I'm sure Cisco and Wells would appreciate the new look I guess. Maybe I should get their opinion" I say turning as if I'm about to go and find them.

He reaches out and grabs my arm turning me to him and pressing his mouth to mine, I sigh into the kiss, wrapping my arms around his neck. He begins to kiss down my jaw making me laugh

"Nuh uh, this is for me and me only" he murmurs against my skin

I want nothing more than to allow him keep kissing me, let him press me into the couch like he did last night but I am also aware of how much time I have.

"Barry I wish we could but I still need to have a shower and get changed" I try to reason as he starts to unbutton the shirt, kissing my neck.

"You know I could always…... help you shower. I mean you are pretty sleep deprived, you could slip" he says and I can almost hear the smile in his voice.

He begins to push me backwards towards where the showers are, clothes flying off before we even reach there.

….

It takes a while before my legs stop feeling like jelly, once the both of us are dressed I head out to grab a coffee from Jitters, Iris must have taken an early shift because her warm smile greets me as I walk in. We've all gotten closer over the last few weeks and she had happily given us her blessing, saying she 'couldn't wait to have a sister' which made the both of us blush deep red.

"Hey Caitlin! The usual?" she asks and I nod my thanks also grabbing a couple of donuts for Barry and some banana bread for me for breakfast.

As I wait for my order I notice than it has gotten colder and inwardly curse, I was wearing a white, long-sleeved blouse and a high waisted black pencil skirt, not the best clothing if was going to get chilly. I see Iris coming over with my order and smile going up to her.

And that's when I notice the webs of ice forming on the windows.

My first thought is of Captain Cold but then the door opens and a woman walks in, a woman with snow white hair and icy blue eyes.

A woman who looks just like me.

…..

(Barry's POV)

Once Caitlin had gone to get coffee I got to work on my next idea on how to stop Zoom, if I could figure out a way to make myself faster than I could overpower him and take him down. I hadn't mentioned it to Caitlin yet because I knew she'd freak, listing all of the possible things that could go wrong and telling me how dangerous it was.

I had just begun on a new idea involving using the particle accelerator when my phone rang, I saw that it was Iris and answered.

"Hey Iris, what's up?"

"B-Barry?!" I can hear her sobbing on the other line and the faint sound of sirens in the background.

"Iris? What's going on? Are you okay?" I ask concerned that she might have been in some sort of accident. If Caitlin was here I'd have her look up if there was anything going on in the city, where was she? She left an hour ago.

"Barry it happened so fast I-I don't I, uh she came in and it was so cold. God it was so _cold!_ And then she took her! I'm so sorry Barry" she weeps into the phone

Cold? Like Captain Cold? What was he doing in the city? "Iris? Slow down I can't understand you? What's going on?"

"She looked just like her Barry! She looked just like Caitlin!" Iris cries

No.

"I-Iris is Caitlin with you? Put her on the phone I want to talk to her"

She starts to sob into the phone "Barry I-I'm so sorry…...she took her, she has Caitlin!"

I drop the phone to the floor, my legs folding underneath me and sending me to the ground. Killer frost is here, she has Caitlin.

What was I going to do?

Cisco finds me like that on the floor half an hour later, he sighs and helps me to my feet

"You know?" I ask, my voice shaking

"I had a vibe. There's something else you need to know" he says giving me a sympathetic smile as he helps me onto a chair.

"Killer Frost isn't alone; she's working with Zoom"

8 words. That's all it takes to unravel my world.

….

(Caitlin's POV)

I flinched as I felt her cold blue eyes bore into the back of my skull. I had been tied to a chair and apparently we were waiting for her partner to come. Barry had told me about my earth 2 alter ego but never had I imagined that I would actually meet her.

The door in the warehouse I was in opened and in walked a man with blonde hair, if I wasn't with Barry and he hadn't kidnapped me I would say he was handsome. I glared as he sat down in the chair in front of me.

"Hello Dr Snow" he said with a smirk

"What do you want from me?" I spat out not willing to become to weeping mess he probably hoped I would.

"I'm disappointed that you didn't recognize me Caitlin, but I guess it is rather hard without the suit"

Within a second he has gone and gotten changed, the all too familiar black suit on. "Zoom" I say as if the name is like poison on my tongue.

"Please, call me Jay" he says coming over to me and brushing his hand across my face "I'm sorry about this nasty business. I don't like to involve women in my business if necessary but I needed something to make the flash come"

"You're an idiot, why would he come for me?" I ask

"Because he loves you, I'm not stupid Caitlin. I saw how he protected you that night, and I have informants who've told me just how _close_ the two of you are. And now that I've taken his love, Barry Allen will come to rescue her leading to his downfall" he says as if he's explaining something to a child.

I laugh, my body shaking against the chair I was tied onto "You have no idea of who you're messing with or what he is capable of"

That seems to get his interest and he leans in very close, I can feel his breath on me "Well how about you enlighten me then? I wouldn't want to hurt such a pretty face"

I look him straight in the eyes, jaw clenched and a steely glare in my eyes "You can do whatever you want to me. Torture me, kill me but I will _never_ give you information"

His nostrils flare and I can see his hands clench and unclench, he's getting mad. I brace myself for the hit I know is coming and it only surprises me a little when he backhands me across the face, causing the skin on my cheekbone to split open.

"Fine. Have it your way" he snarls before ripping me out of the chair and flashing us off. When we stop we're on the top of a high building, I can see people at the bottom stopping and although I can't see what they're doing I imagine that they're calling the police.

"FLASH!" Zoom yells out making me jump and moving me closer to the edge.

"Come flash! Save your love! Come and rescue the love of your life before I drop her like an egg on the sidewalk" he says wrapping his arm around my neck and putting me in a chokehold. I struggle against him, digging my nails into his suit to no avail and moving around.

He moves us closer to the edge, I can feel the breeze hitting my face and look up at the sky in an attempt at trying not to look down. It's dark now, I've been gone most of the day. I can stop myself from looking down and shriek when I realise how high we are, the sight of how far off the ground we are making me feel nauseous.

Suddenly he pushes me off the edge and I scream as I fall over, his arm reaching out and catching one of mine just in time. I can hear shouts from down below and the sounds of sirens and try desperately not to cry. And then I hear a sound that cancels out all the rest.

Barry's voice, shouting my name.

"Ah Barry you made it just in time, I had begun to question if your feelings were as strong as I thought" I can hear him say.

"She doesn't have anything to do with this Zoom just let her go!" I can hear him beg

"Oh Barry why would I want to do that? I told you that I was going to take your world from you, I think it's fitting if we start with the one who holds your entire world don't you" he says loosening his grip slightly. I shriek and try to grip on harder.

"Please Zoom! Please just…. let her go. You can do whatever you want to me just let her go"

Zoom turns to smile at me dangling before turning back "okay" he says before letting go.

I let out a scream as I fall, I can hear Barry yell my name and think of all the things we hadn't done yet. I wanted to marry him, raise a family and watch as Cisco tried to convince us to let him make mini suits for our kids, watch as Iris and Joe spoiled them and Wells be the serious uncle they could go to for advice. I wanted to grow old with him and now I was going to die, it wasn't fair.

As I near the ground I squeeze my eyes shut, thinking of Star labs, Cisco laughing and Wells rolling his eyes, of Barry's smile.

Instead of hitting the cold hard pavement like I expected I land in something rather warm and slightly soft, arms that had carried me countless time before. I open my eyes and Barry is staring down at me, concern etched onto his face.

"Cait! You okay?" he asks holding me up.

I smile and wrap my arms around him "Y-you saved me" I gasp

I hear him chuckle and feel him kiss the side of my head "always" he whispers

Zoom's shouting shocks us back into reality, Barry sets me down on my feet and we both look around but neither of us can see him. The police have evacuated the area and are waiting a block away, ready to get involved if they need to.

Zoom flashes around us and I try to keep up with him, getting dizzy from watching him continuously streaking past. Then I see him stop behind me, a gun raised at Barry and I shout, pushing Barry out of the way.

"Barry watch out!"

A gunshot echoes.

And then the sound of something dripping onto the pavement.

…


	7. In Another Life

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 7

…

(Caitlin's POV)

I watch as red begins to stain my white blouse, spreading across my stomach and onto my hand when I touch it. Barry gets up off the sidewalk "Caitlin?"

My knees buckle and I fall to the floor, he grabs me before I can hit the ground and lowers me onto his lap "No! No no no no. Cait oh god, Caitlin look at me!" he cries out grabbing my hand and looking at my wound before cursing loudly.

"Why? Why would you do that? I can heal Caitlin you know that"

"He would have…. shot you" I gasp, trying to breathe through the pain.

"It doesn't matter okay, there's an ambulance on the way alright. You're going to be fine"

"Barry…."

"No"

"Barry" I try again but he stops me from continuing

"No stop it, stop it! You're going to be fine! You're going to be _fine_ " he cries, his green eyes filling with tears and making my heart ache and break at the sight of him crying.

"Barry… I love you" I say, my breath shuddering, the pain was becoming overwhelming, making it harder to breathe.

"No don't, don't Caitlin please" he begs holding me closer, pulling me against his chest and my blood staining his clothes.

"If I…. If I don't make it…... then I want, you to know it's okay… it's okay… you made me so happy" He shakes his head, tears sliding off his cheeks and hitting the ground next to me.

"No, no don't you dare Caitlin. It's not okay, it's even close. There's all this stuff we still need to do, we need to get married. We need to have kids. You need to stay because we haven't done any of that yet"

I smile at him "You…... want to…. marry me? Is that… a proposal?"

He chuckles, tears still streaming down his cheeks "No, no because you're going to be fine. And then I'll do it properly with a big cheesy speech and a ring and flowers. It'll be perfect"

"I'd…. like to….. hear that speech"

I can hear sirens in the distance as my vision begins to blur, I give Barry one last smile before my eyes slide shut. The last thing I hear is him screaming my name.

…..

I scream her name as she goes limp in my arms, her eyes closing and my tears mingling with her blood on the concrete beneath us as I sob over her body. I can hear the sirens up behind me and gently kiss her on the forehead.

I can't risk the world knowing my true identity and I don't have my suit on so I have no choice but to lie her on the ground and speed away, my entire body screaming and fighting against me leaving her on the cold ground alone. I round a corner and then stop, pausing to watch as the paramedics put her on a stretcher and then rush her into an ambulance.

Once the ambulance drives away I rush to star labs, I need to let Cisco know what's going on if he doesn't already know. I walk in on shaky legs, my body in shock, the stench of blood, _her blood_ in my nose and numb as I walk past her desk. When I see him I know that he already knows, his eyes are red and he has his stuff ready to go to the hospital. He and Wells look at my sympathetically and it's too much.

The smell of her blood is overpowering, it's on my clothes and covering my hands and no matter how hard I scrub I don't think they'll ever be clean again. I feel the bile rising in my throat and despite my speed barely make it to the bin before the acid rises up and out of my mouth, burning my throat and choking me.

My lungs burn for air as I heave into the bin, tears streaming down my face as I choke. Eventually there's nothing left to come up and I'm dry heaving, sobbing and in a mess on the floor. The next hour is a blur, I manage to shower and change into clean clothes and then we go to the hospital to wait. Since Caitlin's parents aren't very involved in her life Cisco is her emergency contact so he got the call.

We sit there silently, the sounds of sobs coming from next door as someone got news that their loved one was now gone. Cisco was bouncing his leg in anxiousness, his fists clenching up every time someone entered the waiting room and sighing in frustration every time they called out someone else's name. Wells had offered to call Joe and let him know what was happening, he wasn't particularly close to Caitlin and I think he knew we needed the space.

She needed to be okay, I couldn't do this if she wasn't, couldn't live this life if she wasn't by my side. This was all my fault, she'd gotten hurt trying to help me and now I could lose her forever. I meant what I said before, I did, do want to marry her. My mother's ring is in a box at home in my top drawer, I had gotten it from Joe a few weeks ago and had been waiting for the right time.

How could this be happening?

The hours blur together, the sounds of doctors being paged over the intercom and several doctors coming in and out, giving good news and bad. But still no news on Caitlin. I began to pace, biting as my nails as the anxiety nagged at me, if it was taking this long then something had to be wrong right?

Joe came by 6 hours after we had arrived, a tray of coffees in his hands. I mumbled my thanks and took the cup in my hands, only sipping at it a few times before I became nauseous again. I knew with my fast metabolism I shouldn't be skipping meals, especially after vomiting. The image of Caitlin scolding me like a mother would do a child crossed my mind.

 _Barry Allen! Sit down and eat something before I force feed you!_

I break down at the image of her in my mind, my already weak resolve crumbling as I sobbed into my hands, the coffee dropping to the floor and splashing over the blue carpet. I hear a sigh from beside me and someone's hand is on my shoulder, holding it while I cry. I can hear Cisco crying from the other side and reach out grabbing his hand and squeezing it. Caitlin would want us to support each other.

….

Eventually a doctor comes out, just as I begin to doze off. I'm awake the second he calls out for family of Caitlin Snow and almost super speed over there in my hurry to find out how she is. And then I see the look on his face. It's the look people gave me after my mother died. A mixture of pity and sympathy.

Everything seems to slow down at that point, I am vaguely aware of him talking, saying things like 'internal bleeding', 'hypovolemic shock' and 'cardiac arrest'. I can hear Cisco cry next to me as the doctor gives his sympathies and then walks away like he hasn't just destroyed a few people's worlds in a few sentences. The sound fades out, as if I'm underwater, my grief pulling me down and drowning me.

I fall to the ground, numb. Someone grabs at my arms, pulling me up and sitting me on a chair. Joe's face appears in front of me, mouth moving as he speaks but I can't hear anything over the sound of my heart breaking. She's gone. Dead. Never coming back. I'll never get to see her smile or hear her laugh again.

I'll never get to use that ring in my top drawer.

I'm hit with an overwhelming pain, it rips through my chest and burns making me cry out. I jump out of the chair, smashing my fist into the nearest wall and yelling. I can feel the bones in my hand break, feel the skin split as it hits the wall. I need this, I need this pain to distract me from the agony that was clawing its way through my chest, ripping me apart.

She was gone.

And I might as well be gone too.

….


	8. Take Me Back To The Start

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 8

…

I couldn't do this.

I couldn't say goodbye.

This wasn't happening.

She isn't gone.

I'm not going to her funeral today.

This can't be it.

I breathe in shakily, my hands trembling as I put on my dark grey tie around my black suit. I can see my reflection in the mirror, tired red eyes and pale skin. I'd barely slept the last week, images of her bleeding out on the ground waking me up and making me scream.

I look over at my desk, a picture of the both of us in a frame on it, it was soon after we got together. Cisco, Caitlin and I went out for ice-cream to celebrate capturing a metahuman. My arms are around her waist and we're both laughing as we try to feed each other. I pick up the picture, focusing on the smile on her face and a sob rises up in my chest, choking me and I put the picture back down and grab onto the desk.

I hear a knock from behind and straighten up, wiping my eyes and sniffing. Iris is standing in my doorway in her black dress, a sympathetic look on her face. I turn back to my desk, Caitlin's diary is on it, still stuck on the page that she died, November 16th. I pick it up turning back to Iris.

"She always had everything planned out, liked to be organised…... We, we were supposed to go buy a Christmas tree this weekend" I say pointing at the little note in the book as I turned the pages "She had all this stuff to look forward to and now she'll never get to do any of it. And the man that killed her got away"

She comes up behind me, placing her hand on my shoulder and looking at the book "He won't get away with this Barry. We'll make him pay"

"I…. I was going to propose; I know it seems sudden but when you know you know right? I have my mother's ring in my drawer" My voice breaks, tears choking me and a lump forming at the back of my thraot

She sighs and hugs me from the side "I'm so sorry Barry"

"I-I can't do this…. I-I can't" I cry

She sniffs, a few tears of her own falling "You can, you have to. Caitlin would want you to Barry, you know she would"

"But how... how am I supposed to go on the rest of my life without her?"

"You'll do it one day at a time, get through the pain one day at a time and eventually…. It will get easier, won't hurt as much. Trust me I know" she says sadness in her eyes as she thinks of Eddie.

She helps clean me up, straightens my tie and smooths out my suit and then we go down to the car where Joe is waiting for us. He hugs me, patting my back "You okay?" he asks when he pulls away, noting the red eyes and the fact that Iris is reapplying her makeup in the car.

I shrug, how could I ever possibly be okay again?

The funeral is outside; I know Caitlin would have preferred it outside. Snow is on the ground, the first of it falling a couple of weeks ago. I smile as I remember Caitlin's excitement as she watched the first of it fall.

" _It means it almost Christmas Barry!"_

This year she had gotten excited about Christmas, it was our first as a couple and she wanted it to be perfect.

Her parents are standing by the coffin, Caitlin wasn't close with her mum, she stood tense next to her father who looked devastated. My Dad and Cisco were already here, Lisa on Cisco's arm and his eyes a familiar shade of red. Patty was here too along with Kendra and Captain Singh but I couldn't contain my shock at seeing Oliver, Felicity and Laurel all standing there clad in black.

Felicity embraces me first "I'm so sorry Barry" she says as she pulls away.

Oliver surprises me further by pulling me into a hug "I'm sorry Barry, how're you doing?"

"Uh not great I guess…... what are you guys doing here?" I ask in shock as Laurel embraces me.

"We wanted to be here to support you. She was an amazing woman Barry" Felicity says squeezing my shoulder.

My insides scream when she says 'was', it felt wrong to use past tense to describe Caitlin. I'm about to thank them for coming when the minister announces that the service is starting.

I tune out at first, the pain in my chest becoming unbearable as he starts to talk. There's a photo of Caitlin smiling on an easel next to her coffin, surrounded by sunflowers and white roses. Sunflowers were her favourite.

I'm disrupted from my thoughts by the feeling of Iris's elbow nudging me in the rib. When I refocus I notice everyone is looking at me, oh right. My speech.

I get up, flexing my hands as I stand in front of everyone "Uh firstly I want to thank everyone for coming, being here with everyone…. It makes today a little more bearable seeing how many people Cait's life touched. I'm going to try and not cry too much, I know that she would have wanted me to smile."

I swallow my throat becoming dry "I-I didn't know what I was going to say at first…... I didn't think that there was anything I could say that would make this any better…. I loved Caitlin, she was the love of my life and I wanted to spend the rest of my life loving her. And while I'm struggling to understand why something so horrible and random has happened I do think I am incredibly lucky"

I begin to tear up again, my breaths shaking as I continued "Because I got to meet an incredible person, got to love and be loved by an amazing woman. She saved my life in ways she didn't even know and I am eternally in debt to her."

I turn to the coffin, tears streaming down my face as I look at the photo and think of her beautiful smile, the way her hand fit in mine "I miss you Caitlin, I miss your smile, the way you laugh at my stupid jokes. I miss-"my breath hitches a sob releasing from my chest "h-holding you…... and talking to you… and I am going to spend the rest of my life wondering why you're not here...I love you Caitlin Snow" Cisco gets up helping back to my seat and then getting up to do his speech.

"Caitlin Snow was not perfect, she was human, she had flaws just like the rest of us. She had a weird sense of humour, she dressed like a high school principle and she didn't get out much" a small laugh echoes through the group, a watery chuckle coming from me as I remember having to drag her to any social occasion.

"None the less she was my best friend, she was like family to me. When I first met her she could be little weird, a little cold but then I got to know her. Caitlin was an incredible cook, an awful singer, Barry can attest to that" I smile at that, the night of the karaoke bar filling my mind.

' _Summer days drifting away to oh, oh the summer nights'_

"She loved to read, was unsurprisingly good at Operation and enjoyed watching old-fashioned movies. I hate that these are all in past tense, I hate that we're here today. Caitlin Snow was not perfect, but she was pretty damn close and we're going to spend the rest of our lives missing her. Thank you" He wipe his eyes as he sits down, I give him a smile, knowing that out of everyone here he understands my pain the most.

The rest of it is a blur and before I know it we're walking to the crematorium. Caitlin never wanted to be buried and once Cisco and I had found the right place we'd scatter her ashes. Her parents had declined to taking them home with them.

As we walk Cisco comes up next to me "Hey, how're you holding up?"

I shake my head looking at my feet as we walked "I dunno, I can't believe we're here. It feels wrong. It feels like it's happening to someone else and I'm just being pulled along for the horrific ride"

"She loved you man, she loved you so much" he says patting my shoulder

I stop walking, covering my face with my hands as I wept "How am I supposed to do this? How am supposed to wake up every morning knowing that she's gone?"

"It's easy Barry, you just have to wake up"

Wake up? I frown pushing away from him "That's not funny Cisco, this isn't a dream."

"Barry, Barry c'mon" the sky starts to turn grey, I watch as the grass shrivels up underneath my feet and then disappears completely.

"What's going on? Another metahuman attack?" I begin to panic watching as everything around me starts to disappear.

"Barry wake up!"

Cisco begins to fade away now and as I attempt to grasp at him my fingers fall straight through, as if he's a ghost.

"Barry WAKE UP!"

And then everything goes black.

….

I jolt awake in something uncomfortable, my neck a little stiff from being in a weird position and temporarily blinded by bright lights. I can hear people walking past me, the sound of wheels squeaking and a voice saying something on an intercom.

As my eyes refocus I realise I'm sitting in a chair and that I'm not alone, Cisco, Joe and a man in a white coat are looking at me "Wha-what's going on" I ask sleepily

"Caitlin's out of surgery" Joe answers, surgery? But I thought…...

A feeling of relief rushes through me, it was just a dream. Thank God! I leap out of the chair "is she okay? Can I see her?"

"She's going to be fine, a little woozy and tired from the blood loss and surgery and we did have to remove part of her spleen but she should make a full recovery" the doctor announces and I hug him out of joy

"Can I see her? Please I have to see her" I say thinking back to my dream, I had to make sure she was really here, that she knew how much I loved her

"Yes, her room is room 119 but I have to wa-" I'm off the second he says the number, running in a way that was barely acceptable for a non-metahuman. I burst into the room, searching for her. She's on the bed, sleeping. There's an oxygen tube under her nose and a few monitors attached to her and an IV is running out of her hand but she's alive, she's still here.

I exhale in relief and go up to her bed, pulling a chair beside it and sitting down. I grab her hand and kiss it all over, thankful just to hold her hand again.

"I love you" I say pressing my mouth to her hand. "I meant what I said, when you're better I'm going to do it. Buy some flowers, I already have the ring. You just focus on getting better"

I sit and talk to her for a few hours, the nurses come in and check on her every so often. They tell me she's sleeping off the anaesthetic and to be patient so I continue to talk to her about everything. I tell her about Christmas which is coming up, we were planning on having everyone over, Caitlin was going to cook and we'd have a big tree with sparkling lights.

"You know if you don't wake up soon I might have to do all the cooking for Christmas" I say with a chuckle; I was kind of a hopeless cook, Caitlin had caught me almost burning her apartment down when I tried to make dinner for us once as a surprise.

A grunt comes from the bed besides me and I feel a slight pressure on my head, I turn and Caitlin's face is slightly screwed up as she takes deep breaths through her nose "Cait? Cait can you hear me?"

Her eyes squint open "Please… don't cook" she croaks out, I heave a sigh of relief and kiss her forehead.

"God you scared me" I say threading my fingers into her hair as I kiss all over her face, whispering my love in between kisses

"I'm sorry"

"It's okay, it's fine I'm just so glad you're okay" I say pressing my forehead to hers and taking a moment to breathe in her scent. I was never going to let her go again.

…


	9. I'm Latching Onto You

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 9

…..

(Caitlin's POV)

I had been two weeks since I came home from the hospital and I was officially off bedrest! Christmas was in three days so I needed to get everything ready before then. I had to buy the food and the decorations and get the presents.

After the stressful last few months I just wanted this day to be perfect.

I winced as I sat up, my stitches still a bit sore and when I did stand up my legs felt incredibly wobbly but I managed to get dressed without too much trouble. Once I went out into the lounge-room Barry was up immediately trying to get me back into bed. And not in the good way.

"Cait what are you doing up? You should be resting"

"The doctor said after my bed rest was up that I could do light activities Barry, I'm just ordering stuff online" I said rolling my eyes

"You can't blame me for being protective. You almost died in my arms!" he exclaims throwing his hands in the air.

I sigh, giving him a smile and walking up to him, cupping his face in my hands "Barry, I get it okay. I scared you, but I'm fine now okay. I'm not going anywhere"

He seems to relax, taking a deep breath and his tense posture slackening slightly. He helps me order the groceries for Christmas and then tries to figure out what I got him.

"For the last time Barry, I'm not telling you" I laughed as he pouts

"Can you just give me a clue?" he asks, trying to give me the puppy face

"Oh my god you're like a child!"

"Fine be a party pooper…. So Iris was wondering if you wanted to do something Christmas day. I need to set up your present and I need you to get out of the apartment for an hour or two?"

I hesitate, I'd never really hung out with just Iris before and while we were friends it still seemed weird. "Barry Allen you better not be getting me something ridiculous, what could possibly take an hour to get ready?"

He only smirks "You'll see"

….

Christmas day arrives with early morning sex and then presents, I got Barry a pair of running shoes as a joke and a small vial of the only alcohol known to humankind that could get the flash drunk.

I put the chicken in the oven and set it to low and then got ready to go out with Iris. I chose a black dress that went to just above my knees with ¾ length sleeves, a high neckline and lace over the skirt with black heels and I wore my hair down and curly. I put on my dark grey pea coat and applied a little mascara and red lipstick.

I had just finished prepping the vegetables when there was a knock at the door, I quickly packed up and grabbed my bag, meeting her outside. She was in a dark pink sweater and black jeans with her back coat and some heeled ankles boots. She looked suspiciously happy but I brushed it off as superstition. We end up just outside a shopping centre in a times square sort of place, there's a giant Christmas tree in the centre and carols playing.

"I'm really happy he found you, you have no idea how happy you make him" Iris says with a smile

"Thanks, I feel like I'm the lucky one. After Ronnie…. I never thought I could love like that again but with Barry things are so different" I feel a small tug at my heart thinking about Ronnie, I'll go and visit his grave tomorrow.

We casually talk, about our jobs, the new guy Iris is seeing called Andy. Although Eddie would always be in her heart she knew that he would want her to move on and be happy. As we talk the music slowly changes to something that's not a Christmas carol.

Suddenly the crowd parts and a flash mod starts to dance, I laugh and point to Iris who has her phone out.

 _You lift my heart up when the rest of me is down,_

 _You, you enchant me even when you're not around,_

 _If there, there are boundaries,_

 _I will try to knock them down,_

 _I'm latching on babe,_

 _Now I know what I have found,_

The dancers start to twirl around us, some pulling off intricate moves while others pushed me further into the centre. I look to Iris for help but she is too busy recording this, her eyes tearing up.

 _I feel we're close enough,_

 _I wanna lock in your love,_

 _I feel we're close enough,_

 _I wanna lock in your love, your love,_

I recognise Barry's voice as the one that's singing, and try and look for him, laughing as some of the dancers start to spin me around.

 _Now I've got you in my space,_

 _I won't let go of you,_

 _You got me shackled in my embrace,_

 _I'm latching on to you_

I watch as the group parts and Barry comes out, dressed in a black suit. He begins to dance with the mob and I blush red as he pulls me in.

 _I feel so encaptured,_

 _Got me wrapped up in your touch,_

 _Feel so enamoured,_

 _Hold me tight within your clutch,_

 _How did you do it?_

 _You got me losing all my breath,_

 _What did you give me,_

 _To have my heartbeat out my chest?_

He spins me around while singing, I laugh as we spin feeling dizzy from all of this.

 _Now I've got you in my space,_

 _I won't let go to you,_

 _Got me shackled in my embrace,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _Now I've got you in my space,_

 _I won't let go of you,_

 _Got me shackled in my embrace,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you_

 _Oh oh oh oh oh_

As he sings all the dancers give me a sunflower, my favourite flower. I know what's going to happen, I remember what he said after I'd gotten shot and now I was overwhelmed by love and joy. I started to cry happy tears as he serenaded me.

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

 _I'm latching onto you,_

As the songs slow down the crowd parts and he walks towards me, I smile tearfully at him as gives me one final sunflower, tears streaming down my face and probably ruining my makeup.

 _Now I've got you in my space,_

 _I won't let go of you,_

 _You got me shackled in my embrace,_

 _I'm latching onto you_

As the song stops he gets down on one knee, I knew that he was going to do this but I still can't stop the gasp that escapes my lips as he pulls a ring box out of his jacket. I cover my mouth in shock with one hand while holding the flowers as he starts to speak.

"Caitlin Snow, you are the love of my life. I love everything about you, I love the way you bite you're lip when you're stressed, I love how no matter how many times I hurt myself you'll always be there to patch me up, I love how you can't sing for toffee, I love how sometimes you snort in your sleep and I love the way you vacuum immediately after eating a biscuit. Even the things that I don't like I love and I want to spend the rest of my life loving those things. You are by far the best thing in my life and I want to spend every day of the rest of my life loving and cherishing you. So I'm asking you today, will you make me the happiest man on the planet and do me the honour of marrying me?"

I tearfully nod embracing him and bringing my mouth to his. When I pull back he smiles at me "Is that a yes? You didn't really say"

I roll my eyes at him laughing "Yes! Yes of course I'll marry you!"

The crowd begins to applaud as we kiss again, this time longer and deeper. When we pull away he takes the ring out of the box and for the first time I actually look at it, it's old fashioned, simple. An oval shaped diamond on a thin silver band studded with more diamonds (look up Oval engagement rings and you'll get the picture) he slides onto my finger

"It was my mother's" he says as he slides the ring on. When it's in place I beam up at him, kissing him again.

"I can't believe you did all that!" I exclaim

"Well I did promise you an epic proposal, did it live up to your standards?"

"Knocked them out of the woods babe" I say kissing him again.

That Christmas we spent the afternoon with our dysfunctional family, Cisco and Wells came along with Lisa and Iris brought over Andy. Joe and Henry were also there and Iris showed everyone the video of the proposal. It was the perfect Christmas.

…


	10. Nothing Goes As Planned

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 10

….

A few months had passed and I was already starting to plan the wedding, I wanted an autumn wedding in September which was now only 5 months away. I didn't see the point I waiting and dragging out the engagement, I didn't want to waste any more time and couldn't wait to be married to Barry.

I fiddle with the ring on my finger, twisting it around and biting into my lip as I looked at flowers and cakes for the wedding. The colour scheme was autumn colours, vibrant yellows and oranges with pretty purples and pinks mixed in.

Barry came up behind me, massaging my shoulders "What's stressing you out?"

"Hmm? Oh, nothing just wedding stuff. There's so much to do and I think the stress is starting to get to me. I feel awful" he frowns and places the back of his hand to my forehead.

"Well you don't feel hot, maybe you're getting a cold?"

"Yeah either that or this wedding planning is starting to literally kill me" I say laughing.

"Maybe you should stay home today, we can manage at the lab if you're sick" he tries to persuade me

"No, I'm just a little tired and fluish I'll be fine. I want to check on the new machine Cisco and Wells built" I bookmark the pages I like and then close down the computer. In the last few weeks my apartment has become wedding central, magazines littering almost every flat surface and samples of colours for napkins taped to the wall.

This is what I get for letting Iris help me plan the wedding.

I still can't believe that it's happening, sometimes I catch myself staring at the ring on my left ring finger in awe, as if I'm scared that I'll soon wake up and this will have all been a dream.

I manage to convince Barry that I'm fine to go to work, I had a lot I needed to get done before the wedding and I couldn't miss work because I was feeling stressed.

On the way to work we stop and grab coffee from Jitters, as we grab our coffees I get a whiff of the quiche on display and a wave of nausea overcomes me, I quickly speed off outside, going to the nearest trashcan and retching into it. I can feel comforting hands on my back and pulling my hair back.

Barry whispers to me comfortingly, rubbing circles into my back while I throw up violently. Once I'm done he hands me a napkin which I take gratefully and wipe my mouth.

"I don't want to say I told you so" he begins to say and I groan

"Then don't"

"Cait you're sick, you can't work like this"

"I'm fine, it's just the smell in there. It made me feel sick, I feel fine now" I try to say convincingly

"Look we'll take you in to the lab, I'll get your work and then we're going straight home you're going to get some rest"

"But I-" he cuts my protest off with a kiss to my forehead

"No arguments, I don't want to be the type of fiancé that expects you to just do what I say Cait but you're sick, please just let me take care of you"

I smile softly and nod and we head to the lab, he makes me sit once we get inside and then goes to grab some of my things. Cisco notices and comes over "What's going on?" he asks, confusion written on his face.

"Barry thinks I'm sick, he's taking me home" Cisco leaps back, hands in the air as if I'm going to infect him just by being close.

I roll my eyes "I'm fine, the smell of the eggs got to me and I got sick but I've been fine since then" I whine, Cisco still stands a few metres away.

"Better safe than sorry, sorry Cait" I laugh and wave him off just as Barry comes in, a bunch of my papers and files under his arm.

"Okay let's get you home, would you rather I flash us there or catch a cab?"

I raise an eyebrow at him "Barry I just threw up, cabs probably a better idea"

I get up to go and am hit by a surge of dizziness for a few seconds "Woah" I say grabbing onto the desk next to me.

Barry and Cisco both come over, Barry grabbing my arm and helping me stand up "Cait! You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just got a bit dizzy for a sec, probably because I just threw up" I say breathing in through my nose and out my mouth to try and help with the reoccurring nausea.

"Maybe we should get Wells to look at her" Cisco said with a tone of worry in his voice

"Is he even a doctor? Shouldn't we just take her to a hospital or something?" Barry asks

"No, no hospitals. I'm fine, really" I say blinking away the black spots in my vision

"You're not fine Cait, you almost passed out just then. If you don't want to go to a hospital, then at least get checked out by a doctor" Barry begs

"I'll go get Wells" Cisco says running off

"Can't I just go to a normal doctor?" I groan

"It's faster if we do it here Caitlin, we can figure out whatever this is and fix it, please for my sanity just get checked out"

I nod and then make a move to straighten myself out, I'm hit with another surge of dizziness and this time I can't stop it. The world spins and my vision turns black as I fall to the floor.

…

I came to on one of the medical benches in my lab, Wells was standing nearby talking to Barry who had a worried look on his face. I started to sit up and they both came over once they noticed I was now conscious.

"Caitlin! Are you feeling okay? Slowly alright" Barry says helping me to sit up properly.

"I'm fine, not even dizzy anymore"

"Well that's good, still feeling nauseous?" Wells asks, coming forward

I shake my head and make a move to get off the bed but Barry is by my side in a second, stopping me.

"Well do you know what's wrong with her? Perfectly healthy people don't just faint" he asks, concern in his voice.

"I need to run a few more tests just to rule out a few things, Barry if you wouldn't mind waiting outside" he says gesturing to the door

Barry hesitates before I smile and nod to him, he kisses the side of my head before leaving the room. Once he's gone I turn back to Wells.

"So, what do you thinks wrong with me?"

He goes over to of the medical cabinets and pulls out a box, throwing it to me "You tell me"

I look at the box, it's a pregnancy test kit. I hold it up "Do I even want to know why those are in there?" I say quirking my brow

"Stop deflecting" he says, seeing through my attempt to distract him.

"I-it's not… I'm not… I just have the flu" I stammer, my shaking hands holding the box.

He doesn't look convinced "Caitlin you're a doctor, you know the signs. The dizziness, the vomiting, strange aversions to food. Barry told me about this morning. Just take the test, if it's negative we'll do a blood test to see what's going on"

I nod and take a deep breath before going into one of bathrooms, once I've done the test I place it in one of the medical dishes and go back to the medical bay. I put the dish on the bench and wait the 5 minutes needed. I jump when the timer goes off on my phone and slowly go the dish, panic rising up inside me as I get closer.

What if it was positive? I didn't know how to feel about it; a baby was the last thing we needed right now. Zoom was still out there and there was the wedding. I inhale deeply before peering over into the dish. The test lay there and the word PREGNANT was on the screen.

I felt a dozen different emotions rush through me. Shock, worry, nervousness but the one that overtook them all was joy, I was pregnant, Barry and I were going to have a child. Oh my god. Barry. How was I going to tell Barry?

"Just tell him, he may be shocked but he'll come around. He loves you" Wells says coming up beside me.

I nod and quickly dispose of the test, running through my head how I could tell Barry about the baby, my thoughts were interrupted by the man in question coming into the room. Wells sees this as his cue to leave and gives me an encouraging half-smile as he goes.

"Hey, you guys have any idea what it is yet?" he asked, his body language telling me he was anxious about the tests. His arms were folded across his chest and he was all tensed up.

"Uh….yeah, we know" I say biting into my lip and flexing my fingers in and out of fists to relieve some of my anxiety.

"What? What is it? Is it bad? Whatever it is we'll fix it Caitlin, we'll get through this together" he says taking my hands and stopping their movements.

"I was hoping you'd say that, you _are_ the father" I say softly, looking up at him.

His eyes are wide with shock, his skin suddenly ashen and his mouth is hanging open, he looks down to my stomach and then back up to my face, spluttering "I-we-you-you're?"

I nod "I'm pregnant Barry"

Part of me was hoping he'd be ecstatic, a giant smile breaking onto his face like it happens in the movies. Or even for him to be in shock for a few minutes before coming around to the idea. What I didn't expect was for him to drop my hands, backing away, his mouth opening and closing like a fish out of water.

"I-I need time" he said before flashing off, leaving me to crumple onto the lab floor.

…..

The rest of the day goes in a blur, Barry never comes back and I spend most of the day trying to hold in the tears and making sure I ate for the sake of the baby. I tried my best to concentrate on the work I had to do but I couldn't stop thinking about this baby. What if Barry didn't want it? I could do this alone; I know I could but I didn't want to.

Cisco had noticed that something was up, I wanted to tell him but it was too early to tell anyone yet. I had no idea how far along I was and a metahuman pregnancy was bound to have complications. I was lucky that he hadn't seen me faint or I know he wouldn't leave it alone.

Eventually I gave up on my work, heaving a heavy sigh and wiping away the tears that had once again started to prick my eyes. I grabbed my things and made my way home, once I'm outside my apartment I try and ring Barry again, it goes straight to voicemail and I sigh, taking out my keys and preparing myself for a night of ice-cream and sappy movies after the hellish day I've had. I did not expect what I walked into.

Barry was standing there, a stuffed giraffe toy in his hands. Candles littered the apartment and white rose petals were on the floor.

"You're here" I gasped, overwhelmed by the surge of emotions flooding through me. Stupid hormones. I rush up to him, practically jumping on his arms "I-I was so scared you'd ran off"

His arms wrap around my waist "No baby, never. I'm so sorry if I scared you" he murmurs into my ear.

I pull back, eyes glassy and full of tears "I didn't know if you were coming back, I thought you were mad at me"

He shakes his head, his thumb brushing away one of the tears that had escaped "Not at you, never at you…. I was just, freaking out I guess"

I chuckle, tears sliding down my cheeks freely now "And you think I'm not? Barry, we're partners in this. You should be able to talk to me about how you're feeling. I'm bloody terrified! I don't know how to be a mother!"

"I know, I'm sorry. Look I needed time to think and then somehow I ended up outside the hospital. And this man came up to me, he shouted "It's a boy!" and gave me a cigar like they used to do in those old fashioned movies. He was so ecstatic, you could see the joy on his face and all I could think was 'I want that'. So I went to this really cool toy shop down the road and I found this little guy" he says holding up the giraffe.

"I will never be able to make up for how I reacted when I found out Caitlin but believe me when I say that finding out you were pregnant is by far the best news of my life. I'm so unbelievably happy right now" he exclaims, a big smile stretching across his face.

"Really?" I ask, my throat choked up with tears

"So much, I love you Caitlin"

I laugh, happy tears now streaming down my face as I grab his hand and place it over my stomach, where our child lay "We're having a baby"

He stares down at our intertwined hands in awe before looking up "We're having a baby!" he yells sweeping me up in his arms and spinning me around. When he puts me down he gives me a deep and passionate kiss that makes me go weak in the knees.

"I love you" he says when he pulls away

"What do you say we blow out these candles and celebrate in the bedroom?" I say looking up at him through my lashes.

Within two seconds all of the candles have been blown out and he is carrying me to the bedroom.

….


	11. Telling the Family

Wouldn't That Save You?

Chapter 11

….

Caitlin's POV

"Do you think it's a boy or a girl?"

Barry asks me as we lie on the bed, it's been two weeks since we found out and we couldn't wait to start telling people. I worked out that I was now 10 weeks along and besides the morning sickness everything was going great. We had our first ultrasound this morning and we were both restless with excitement.

"I'm not sure, is that bad? Isn't the mother supposed to have some sort of inkling? What if this means I can't connect with the baby?"

"Stop it, you're going to be a great mother Cait" he says brushing his hand over my abdomen

"I just want everything to go okay with this baby, I don't want to be like my mother"

"You're nothing like her, you are kind and funny and warm and this baby is so lucky to have you, you're going to be an incredible mum" he says kissing my forehead

"And you're going to be an amazing dad" I say, nuzzling into his chest "What do you think the baby is going to be?"

"I don't know, sometimes I picture a little boy with your eyes and my hair who speeds around the house and then sometimes I picture a little mini you, auburn hair and freckles. As long as he or she is healthy I'll be happy"

I picture the children in my mind, Barry and I taking them out for ice-cream, having picnics in the park and days at the beach. I want it so badly.

Eventually we pull ourselves up, we have the doctor's appointment at 8, then straight to work and at lunch I'm meeting with Iris to discuss the wedding. I'd be around seven months pregnant by the time of the wedding and I knew I'd need to adjust a few things, like my dress.

We wait in the waiting room until the doctor calls out my name, she hands me a gown and quickly change into it and then get onto the bed.

"Hi, I'm Doctor Willis. I'll be looking after you today. I see from you're notes that you suspect you are around ten weeks. I'm just going to ask you a few questions about your cycles and then we'll take a look" she says with a warm smile, shaking our hands.

Once I've answered all the necessary questions she gets me to lie back and pulls up the bottom of my gown, my lower half draped in a blanket. I flinch when she applies the cold gel.

"Sorry, it can be quite cold" she says apologetically.

She presses the ultrasound wand into my lower stomach, moving it around while all three of us turn to look at the screen. Eventually a picture of a small bean shaped object pops onto the screen, my eyes water at the first glimpse of my unborn child.

"There's your baby, and that flickering thing there? That the heartbeat, I'll put it on for you to listen to" she says tapping on the keyboard. A fast paced whooshing sound fills the room; I look to Barry with a teary smile

"That's our baby" his smile is so bright it almost hurts to look and I'm positive there are tears gleaming in his eyes also.

"It's amazing, you're amazing" he says giving me a sweet kiss.

She gives us a few copies of the ultrasound and a video recording so we can listen to it at home, the whole way there we take turns looking at the photo again in awe of the life we created. Once we arrive at work I slide the photo back into my bag and get to work on the new serum I had created with Wells to try and take down Zoom if he was to ever come back.

I went over to grab the necessary chemicals but Barry flashed in front of me "Caitlin! What are you doing?" he asked blocking me off from the chemicals.

"I'm grabbing the things I need for this serum Barry; you know that we've been working on it" I say confused by his sudden reaction.

"You can't deal with those types of chemicals anymore Caitlin, it's not safe for the baby" he lowers his voice as he says baby.

At first my temper flares at him telling me that I can't do something, I was pregnant not dying! And then I thought about how much he cared for us and I felt touched, followed quickly by shame at the thought of doing something that could endanger my child. How could I have been so careless?

"I-I didn't think, I'm sorry I don't know how I didn't think of that. Maybe I'm getting pregnancy brain. Soon you'll have to tie my shoes for me and make me wear my keys around my neck" I say flushing with embarrassment

He takes me into his arms "Hey, hey it's okay. It's not your fault, the hormones are probably just messing around with you. And even if you do need me to tie your shoes, there's nowhere else I'd rather be"

I sigh and sink into his arms, this was going to be a long nine months.

….

Eventually Iris comes for our lunch date, we're going to discuss the wedding and then I'm going to casually invite her, Joe and Wally over for dinner. Barry and I wanted to tell them about the baby in a special way.

We head to this little café down the road from the lab and I order a salad with chicken and a water while she orders a seafood pasta and a coffee. I inwardly groan at the thought of the seafood pasta, along with eggs this pregnancy had also given me a strange aversion to yoghurt, anything deep fried and all seafood. Hopefully I could keep my breakfast down.

"So when do you want to look at dresses? Do you know what kind you want? Personally I think you would look great in something form fitting, that shows off your great figure" Iris suggested and I laughed inside.

My figure wouldn't look so great by the time this wedding came around.

"I have some idea; I was hoping we could go shopping on the weekend. And Barry wants everyone to come over tomorrow night, we want to talk to everyone about the wedding" I try to say smoothly.

Iris doesn't seem to be suspicious and agrees before pulling out the book we made of all the things I wanted for the wedding.

When lunch arrives the smell of fish wafts over and it takes everything I have to swallow down the bile and not run to the nearest bathroom. We eat lunch in peace, I take small breaths through my mouth to try and ease the nausea as I pick at my salad.

Once we're done and everything is paid for we head our separate ways, Iris to work and me to Star Labs. I'm still feeling queasy when I get back and Barry seems to notice.

"Babe you okay?" he asks coming over to me

I hold up a hand, stopping him "I'm okay…. Iris had seafood for lunch" I groan

He smiles sympathetically "I'll go get you those anti-nausea lollipops the doctor gave us" he says flashing off and immediately coming back with a red lollipop in hand.

"I love you" I sigh, taking the lollipop from him and shoving it into my mouth.

"I love you too, so… did everything go as planned?" he asks rubbing circles into my back

"Yeah, they're coming tomorrow night. What do you think of lasagne for dinner?"

"Lasagne sounds perfect. They're going to be thrilled Caitlin don't worry" he reassures me "Maybe we should hold off with the wedding until after the baby is born. It's too much stress for you"

"No! Look I know that I'll be 7 months by then and I'll look like a cow but I don't care. I want to marry you Barry as soon as I can, the only reason I haven't dragged you to the courthouse is because Iris would kill me" he laughs at that

"You'll look beautiful, like always"

"Is that the only thing you heard Barry? I want to marry you. I don't want to wait anymore"

He takes me into his arms "I can't wait to make you my wife Caitlin Snow"

"Soon to be Allen" I say with a smile

"You're going to change your name?" he asks shocked as if he thought I'd demand to remain a snow

"I only want to be called Snow at work, apart from that I will be an Allen. Snows are cold, uncaring and they ignore their children. I'd much rather be an Allen" he smiles again; he opens his mouth to say something but we are interrupted by Cisco coming in.

"Hey guys I thought you'd- Oh, am I interrupting something?" he says awkwardly "I can come back if you want just no sex in the lab please. We all have to work here"

I roll my eyes, pulling away from Barry slightly who keeps a hand around my waist "Nice Cisco, now what did you want to show us?"

"I thought of a way to improve Barry's suit, it could possibly make him lighter and therefore faster! I just need to- Is that a lollipop? I thought you didn't like eating junk food, always going on about how bad it was for you" he asks pointing to the red confectionary item in my hand.

"I don't, these are to help with nausea" I blurt out before I can stop myself. I freeze when I realise what I said and Cisco perks up.

"Nausea? Are you sick again? If you are then stay away from me, I've got things to do" He says taking a step back with his hands up.

I look to Barry, an apology in my eyes. He shrugs "We have to tell him sometime"

I smile and take his hand before turning back to Cisco "I'm not sick Cisco…. I'm pregnant. Barry and I are going to have a baby!"

His eyes widen as he looks between Barry and I before bringing us in for a group hug "This is great! Do you know how special this kid will be? I'm happy for you guys"

We talk about the baby, Cisco makes a joke about making a baby suit and it takes a while to convince us that he's joking. For once, everything on Team Flash is going perfectly.

…

I hurriedly wiped my hands on the apron I was wearing as I finished preparing the lasagne and shoved it into the oven. Iris, Joe and Wally were coming over tonight to discuss the wedding and Barry and I were going to tell them about the baby, it had to be perfect.

I was wearing a retro style navy blue dress, it had a high back and was sleeveless and the front had a little v neckline. It went to just over my knees and it had white stripes across it. I had paired it with some nice white heels and my hair was down and curled slightly.

Barry came in, in his black button up and black jeans holding up a bottle of wine "Do you want me to put this out there? I know you can't drink so I thought, I don't know"

I smile "It's fine, by the end of the night they'll know why I'm not drinking" I say waving it off

He puts the bottle down and comes over wrapping his arms around me from behind and putting his hands on my stomach "How's our baby doing?"

"The baby is fine, waking mum up early every morning to puke"

He turns me around "You do look a bit pale, maybe you should go lie down before they get here" he suggests.

The doorbell rings at that moment and I pull away "I'm fine, just tired. C'mon let's go get the door"

The dinner goes off without a hitch, we discuss the wedding, the date will be the 23rd of September and we were going to hold it outside in this forest we had found online with a company that specialises in outdoor weddings. Then we'd go and have the reception in this venue we'd found nearby.

We were discussing the guest list when Barry took my hand and when I looked at him I knew he wanted to tell them now. I gave him a small nod and he took this as his cue, clearing his throat.

"Guys, we haven't been completely honest with you. We didn't invite you over just to discuss the wedding, there was also something else we wanted to talk to you about" he looks to me and I take a deep breath.

"We called you here because we have some news…. Barry and I are expecting a baby!"

There's about five seconds of silence before they all jump up, shouting their congratulations and embracing us. Iris swears that we will find a gorgeous maternity dress for the wedding and Joe shouts that he'll be a grandpa before hugging Barry tightly again. I look to Barry, a giant smile on my face as our family showers us with love and I knew in that moment that no matter what happens, this baby would always have someone to love them.


	12. The Perfect Dress

Wouldn't That Save You

(I don't own the Flash)

Chapter 12

…..

Caitlin's POV

It was official, I was starting to get fat. No, not fat ' _Swelling with the life of our child'_ as Barry put it. I was just past 13 weeks and a bump was starting to appear. The wedding was in 3 and a half months and I had yet to find a dress, Iris and I were going shopping today to try and find one although it would need to be altered to fit my bump in a couple of months.

Iris sipped at the champagne that was offered to us when we arrived while we looked through rack over rack of white dresses. Dresses with lace, dresses with sequins, short dress, poufy dresses, dresses with bows. But none of them felt right.

"So, what are you thinking of? Cinderella gown?" Iris chuckled, holding up a spectacularly over the top gown.

"No, I kinda already had a dress like that with Ronnie" I say, remembering how hurried my first wedding had been.

"I'm sorry" Iris said, obviously uncomfortable.

I shake my head with a smile "It's okay, I like to talk about him. Makes me feel like I'm not forgetting about him. And while I miss him I wouldn't give up Barry or our child for anything" I say placing a hand on my slightly curved stomach "As for the dress, something simple. I like lace. It just has to be loose" I gesture to my stomach

Iris nods and waves over a shop assistant "Do you have any maternity wedding dresses? My friend here is pregnant."

"Yes, we have a range of gowns that can hide a bump if that's what you want. Or show it off if you're comfortable with it" she says looking at me

"Well I'll be almost 7 months gone by then so I don't think hiding it will be an option" I laugh

The shop assistant, Belle smiles "Okay, I'll just go and see what I can find"

She comes back with a rack full of dresses and Iris ushers me into a changing room, while I'm changing into the first one we chat about the wedding.

"Oh this is so exciting! I can't believe you and Barry are getting married in under 4 months! And having a baby! I so call dibs on godmother" she chats excitedly.

"Like we'd have anyone else" I say with a roll of my eyes. I finish getting into the first dress and turn around to have a look "Oh no"

"What? Is it the baby? Are you in labour? It's too soon, I'm calling Barry!" she shouts from outside the curtains separating us.

I laugh "What? No it's not the baby. It's the dress" I cringe looking in the mirror again.

"What? Let me see!" She shouts, coming in before I can protest and promptly bursting into laughter.

The dress was old fashioned, think medieval nightgowns. The material was an off white and the dress was high neck and had long sleeves and it fit like a potato sack. Well it certainly was simple.

"Okay next one please" I say lightly shoving Iris back out.

The next dress was okay, lace cap sleeves and a sweetheart neckline, there was a thin sparling band around the waist and the dress was very free flowing.

"Oh Caitlin you look so beautiful" Iris gasps when she sees me.

"Thanks, it is beautiful I just… It doesn't feel like 'the one'" I say frowning as I took another look.

She scrunches her face up, thinking for a minute as she goes through the rack of dresses Belle brought in. But then she shouts "Eureka!" and shoves a dress at me "Go, try it on. Trust me"

I take the dress and go into the dressing room once more. Once I have all the buttons done up on the back I go out showing the dress to Iris.

Iris is speechless and for a second I think I see tears in her eyes, when I look in the mirror I see why. The dress is simple, it's got a slight v neck and just hit the floor. There is lace over the top and the three quarter sleeves are just lace and it's fitted to my chest before loosening around my waist. It's perfect.

"This is it, this is the one" I announce, happy tears pricking my eyes as I look in the mirror.

We get the necessary measurements, although I will have to come back two weeks before the wedding and once I pay for the dress we go to lunch.

"So have you guys talked about any names?" Iris asks as she tucks into her salad.

"We batted a few around. We're thinking Nora for a middle name if it's a girl and maybe Joseph or Henry if it's a boy. We want to wait until we know the sex to figure out the first name" I say picking at my toasted sandwich.

"You're going to find out?" she asks

"Yeah, we don't need any more surprises. This baby is part metahuman, I doubt the rest of this pregnancy will be uneventful"

"You'll both be okay Caitlin; I know you will. And I reckon it's a girl. Godmother's intuition. Now eat your sandwich and feed my godchild or I'll call Barry" we both laugh and I manage to finish at least half of it. I just don't have much of an appetite yet, morning sickness was still kicking my ass.

We finish off lunch and then I head back to my apartment, Barry is busy hiding something when I come inside.

"What're you doing?" I ask as I put my bag down

"Oh! Cait hey, nothing I just. I'm making something but it's not ready yet" he explains as he flashes off to put the large box in his hands god knows where. He's back in ten seconds and greets me with a kiss "How was your day?"

"Good, still feeling off but I picked out a dress and then Iris and I had lunch. Didn't get much of it down though" I say smiling and taking my jacket off.

"Babe you've got to eat more, It's not healthy for either of you" he exclaims looking down at my stomach.

"You know you are going to regret saying that when it's 1am and I ask you to go get ice-cream" I say with a smirk

"Never, not if it means that the two most important people in my life are happy. I'll do whatever you ask of me Cait, you should know that by now" he winds him arms around my waist and I bring my hands to his cheeks, my engagement ring glinting under the light.

"You Barry Allen are a sap"

He smiles bringing us closer "Only for you my love" he says before bringing his mouth down to mine.

….

Dress is on my profile

What do you think? Girl or Boy?

Sorry the chapter is so short but I wanted to end it on a sweet note.


	13. Boy or Girl?

Wouldn't That Save You

(Don't own the flash)

Chapter 12

…

(Barry's POV)

As I watched Caitlin sleep I couldn't help but marvel at the sight of her distended belly, she was helping a superhero, planning a wedding and looking for a new apartment all while 5 months pregnant. We were going to find out the sex of the baby tomorrow at her 20-week appointment, I had a feeling it was a girl and I secretly hoped that if it was she'd look just like Caitlin. The baby had started moving a couple of weeks ago, only light movements that Caitlin could feel, I was slightly envious and I couldn't wait for the baby to start kicking, strong kicks that I could feel under my palm.

I got up about an hour before she did and made her some fruit salad and a smoothie along with her prenatal vitamins. She's been eating pretty healthy ever since she found out about the baby, the first few months she couldn't keep anything down because of her morning sickness, she almost had to be hospitalised because she couldn't put on wait but thankfully it settled down. The only thing she'd really been craving so far is mint chocolate ice-cream and pretzels which I learnt when she woke me up in the middle of the night to get some.

I had a shower and got dressed and when I came out she was already up, eating her breakfast and on her laptop. "Morning" I said giving her head a kiss, she looked away from the laptop and gave me a brief kiss

"Morning, thanks for breakfast". I waved it off and looked at what she was doing on the computer

"Found any good ones?" I asked pointing to the apartments listed on the screen.

"A few, I was hoping we could both go and check them out on the weekend"

"Sounds perfect" I said making myself some breakfast, Caitlin quickly hopped into the shower and got changed. She came out wearing a floaty black dress over some tights, it was still weird not seeing her in her usual pencil skirts.

We headed for work and when we arrived I was notified of some people being trapped in an apartment block downtown. I gave Caitlin a quick kiss before flashing into my suit and downtown. Cisco directed me to where I needed to go through the intercom and I reached it within seconds, thick black smoke was rising from the apartment block, and I could see the firefighters desperately trying to put it out so they could get inside to the people screaming.

I took a deep breath and flashed inside, thankfully Cisco had made me last suit fireproof. There was a group of people huddled in a corner next to a part of the roof that had fallen through, blocking their exit. I got them out one by one while the firefighters got the fire under control and soon enough the fire was out and everyone was outside, safe.

I could hear Cisco and Caitlin talking to me through the intercom, telling me good job and that there was also a robbery going on in the city. I started to run towards where they directing me before something made me freeze in my steps.

Caitlin screamed.

"Caitlin? Cisco what's going on?" I shouted, I could hear them whispering and it only made me more anxious. Was someone in the lab with them? Captain Cold? Zoom?

"B-Barry" Caitlin's voice floated into my ear

"Caitlin! What's going on? Are you okay?" I asked frantically

"Barry... it's the baby. Something's wrong, oh god… somethings wrong with the baby" she cried out obviously in pain.

I quickly changed my course, the police could handle a robbery surely and I was at star lab within 5 seconds. Caitlin was sitting on a chair, holding her belly and wincing, Cisco was standing next to her, trying to get her to breathe.

"Caitlin!" I cried out, rushing to her and kneeling in front of her

She started to cry "Barry i-it hurts, I can't lose the baby I-I can't"

"You're not going to okay? I'm going to get you to a hospital, it's going to be okay" I flashed out of my suit back into my normal clothes. I picked her up bridal style and thankfully today was the one-day Cisco drove to work. He speeded towards the hospital while I sat with Caitlin in the back, rubbing circles into her back while she groaned.

When we arrived I carried her inside the emergency room "I need some help!" I shouted and a nurse came over "My fiancé, she's pregnant and she's in a lot of pain"

She quickly got another nurse with a gurney and they helped me place her on it, I grabbed onto her hand as they began to wheel her away, fully intending on going with her but one of the nurses stopped me "I'm sorry sir, we need to check her out. We'll come get you when we're done" she said before we were separated.

I stood there, frozen in shock for god knows how long, my whole body shaking until Cisco came and directed me into a chair. The second I sat down I broke down, Cisco sat down next to me and placed a hand on my shoulder, letting me know he was there.

"She'll be okay, they both will. Caitlin's tough and that baby is half Caitlin so he or she is tough too. They'll be fine" he said trying to reassure me.

He sits with me while we wait, he helps me fill out the necessary paperwork and he talks about my bachelor party, trying his best to distract me. A doctor in pink scrubs comes out about an hour later "Caitlin Snow?" she asks looking around the waiting room.

I'm up on my feet and by her side in a second "She's my fiancé, how is she? Is she alright? Is the baby okay?" I ask panicking when she doesn't answer straight away.

"She hasn't been bleeding and the pains have stopped, we're going to do an ultrasound to look at the baby and she requested that you were there. Sir if you'd come with me I can take you to her" she says before showing me the way to Caitlin's room.

Caitlin is on the bed, she's in a blue hospital gown now and the lower part of her stomach is exposed. I go and sit with her on the bed and kiss her cheek "You okay?"

"Yeah I'm just scared. Barry what if something's wrong?" she says as I take one of her trembling hands in mine.

"It won't be okay? the baby will be fine" I say as the doctor applies the gel to Caitlin's stomach. We both hold our breaths as the doctor presses the wand down onto Caitlin's stomach and the screen light up.

Soon the image of our baby appears on the screen and the doctor smiles "There's a strong heartbeat, the baby looks to be perfectly healthy, no signs of any distress. Have the pains dulled now? When was the last one?"

"About 10 minutes ago, they haven't been regular" Caitlin responds placing a hand just above her stomach "So the baby's fine? There's nothing wrong?"

"Well I'm going to wait on a couple of test but it seems to me that you've been suffering from Braxton-hicks contractions. You should be fine to go home today but if there's any bleeding or if the pains come back I want you to come straight back"

We both let out sighs of relief and I kiss her temple as we relax onto the bed, the doctor smiles at us before continuing "Would you like to know the sex?"

We both glance at each other both nodding excitedly at the doctor, she smiles before looking back at the screen "Congratulations. It's a girl"

I look to Caitlin, a smile breaking onto my face as I take her face in my hands and kiss her. "A girl! We're having a girl!" I say when I pull away.

Her eyes well up with happy tears and the smile on her face is the biggest I've ever seen "A girl" she chokes back tears

Suddenly Caitlin gasped and lent forward, holding her stomach. I immediately started to panic again and was about to grab the doctor when she smiled and grabbed my hand, putting it on her stomach.

I was about to ask her what's going on when I felt it. Two hard thumps against my hand. Our baby was kicking.

"The baby is kicking!" I gasped in awe as she laughed

"She's kicking!" she said, her voice thick with tears.

I laugh as she does it again, "She's strong, just like her mother"

She smiles and takes my face with one hand "I love you so much"

"I love you more" I smile bringing her lips back to mine. We were having a girl; I was going to have a daughter.

….


	14. The Night Before

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 14

So I've been watching the most recent episode and I was wondering, do you guys want me to bring Killer Frost or Caitlin's powers into the story? I'd love the feedback and if you have any good plot ideas shout them to me!

…..

Caitlin's POV

"What about Lila?"

"No"

"No?"

"No"

"Why not?"

"Because I went to primary school with a Lila and she was awful"

Barry and I were sitting on the couch discussing baby names, he was getting everything ready to move into our new apartment while I was finalising everything for the wedding which was in 2 days.

"Well how about Daisy?" Barry suggested as I laid out the dress I was wearing for the rehearsal dinner tonight.

"Hmm…. I like Daisy. Put it on the list" I said whilst smoothing out the navy blue material of my dress "I like Violet"

"Another one for the list!" he says, happily writing it onto the list of names we had.

"Do you have everything for tomorrow night ready? Cisco better not get strippers" I say winking at his horrified expression. Tomorrow was his bachelor party and he was then spending the night at Cisco's house before the wedding. I would be staying with Iris since she was my only bridesmaid.

"he wouldn't" he says not entirely convinced.

"Barry it's okay, I'm joking" I say wrapping my arms around him from behind "He knows I'd kill him"

He relaxes into my arms and turns around, winding his arms around my waist "I can't believe the wedding is only two days away"

"I know, you nervous?" I ask with a smirk

"More like impatient, I just want to warry you already" he asks pulling me closer, I can hear his breath slowing as we lock eyes. I place my arms around his neck and my hands thread into his brown hair. "What about you? Nervous?" he asks, his voice slightly husky.

I shake my head "Not even a little bit. I can't wait to be Mrs Allen" I smile at him as he inches our faces closer together, our noses just brushing "Speaking of the wedding, I have something I want to show you"

"Mmmhm?" he asks as his lips brush my jawline.

My eyes close at his touch "Well it's not really for the wedding, more the honeymoon. Maybe I could show you in the bedroom?" I ask as his lips caress my skin.

Despite being almost 7 months pregnant he still manages to pick me up with ease and flash me to our room.

….

Needless to say Barry really enjoyed what I had to show him.

Soon we were sitting at the table at our rehearsal dinner while Joe made a speech.

"Barry, Caitlin I already know that you two are going to make incredible parents. I am so happy for the both of you and I know that your love is going to carry on for years to come. That baby is the luckiest girl in the world to have the two of you as parents and I am so honoured to watch the two of you unite as one. To Barry and Caitlin!" he said raising his glass.

We all raised our glasses and Barry got up and gave him a hug. I watched as they embraced and glanced at my parents at the other table, a slight pang in my chest at the pinched expressions on their face. Barry came back and sat down, taking my hand in his "hey you ok?" he asked noticing the look on my face.

"Yeah, it's just… couldn't they at least be a little happy for me? They're acting like we're strangers instead of family"

He sighs and squeezes my hand "I'm sorry babe"

I shake the tears and pain away "No, I'm not going to let them ruin tonight. This is about us, not them. And pretty soon I'll be an Allen anyway"

"I'll never get sick of you saying that" he says kissing my hand

"And I'll never get tired of saying it, now… are we going to dance or what?"

…

I get more upset than I thought I would be as Barry takes his bag to the door, it was time for him to go. _It's okay_ I tell myself _It's only one day. You'll see him tomorrow at the wedding._

Nonetheless I still cry when we pull away from our hug, stupid baby hormones.

"I'll see you tomorrow Cait. I love you two so much" he says as he gives me one more kiss before Cisco pulls him out the door.

Iris comes over half an hour later and we go to a spa in the city to get our nails done for the wedding.

"Thank you for everything Iris, I'm so glad to have you as my maid of honour. I don't have many girlfriends" I say as the manicurist applies another coat of blush pink nail polish.

"We're practically sisters now Caitlin, I'm so happy for the both of you" she says sipping her champagne

"What do you think the boys are doing right now?" I ask, relaxing into the chair.

"Don't worry Caitlin, Barry wouldn't do anything stupid"

….

(Barry's POV)

After I'm hauled out of the apartment and away from Caitlin Cisco and I head to my bachelor party. I'm forced to close my eyes as we walk into the building, relying on Cisco to help me inside.

"Okay Barry, you can open them now" he says as we finally stop

I open my eyes and I'm immediately met with almost a dozen people shouting surprise and streamers being shot into the air.

"HAPPY BACHELOR PARTY!" Cisco shouts, clapping me on the back.

Oliver and Roy are here along with Joe, my dad and several people from the taskforce and Wells. We're in some sort of club, there's a big bar and scantily clad women walking around with trays of shots and food. I immediately look away, flushing with embarrassment.

"Cisco, you promised no strippers!" I hissed, averting my eyes as a woman walked past

"They're not strippers, they're waitresses" he says as if I'm an idiot.

"Calm down Barry, it's your bachelor party. Relax a little" Joe says coming over and patting me on the shoulder.

Eventually they convince me to stay and I'm dragged over to the bar. Throughout the night I'm congratulated by several people, I chat with Oliver about the impending nuptials and I sense that something is going on at home with Felicity because when I say how happy I am to be getting married he winces.

Eventually it's time for Cisco's speech and he slightly stumbles as he makes his way onto the stage "Okay, so I've had a little too many shots so this is going to be short. Barry, bro I am so happy for you and Caitlin. You two are so hopelessly in love with each other it's disgusting and I know that you two will continue to be disgusting for many years to come. You are my best friend, well besides Caitlin but anyway I am so glad to have met you and I wish you all the happiness in the world. To Barry!" he raises a shot and downs it before rushing to the bathroom.

We party for a few hours before we decide to call it a night, I have to help Cisco into the apartment and into his bed before flopping onto his couch. I resist the urge to call Caitlin and roll onto my side, dreaming of tomorrow.

….

Names for the baby are:

Violet, Poppy, Daisy, Evie, Aurora, Molly, Belle, Alice, Clara or Willa

Pick your fave!


	15. I Do

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 15

…..

(No one's POV)

Caitlin woke with a smile. Today was the day, today she's stopped being Caitlin Snow and become Caitlin Allen instead. Today she was marrying the love of her life. She couldn't help but feel a little nostalgic as she had a shower and got ready for Iris to do her makeup. She remembered the day of her wedding to Ronnie, how nervous she had been. No matter what, Ronnie would always be in her life in a way, she knew Barry understood that.

Iris did her hair up, in a curled bun with her fringe pinned back. Sunflowers, Daisies and bluebells were placed in the back of the bun and then sprayed with a coat of hairspray to make sure it stayed in place.

Caitlin's makeup was light, a little foundation and blush, light brown and blush coloured eyeshadow was swept across her eyelids and Iris applied a layer of mascara and some winged eyeliner to highlight her eyes. Lipstick a few shades brighter than her natural colour was applied and Iris spritzed her wrists and neck with perfume before carefully helping her into her dress and helping her slip on her simple white heels.

A veil was pinned to the bottom of the bun and flowed to the ground, ending just after it hit the floor. Iris was wearing a lilac dress that flowed to the ground and had a sheer back, it had sheer bell sleeves and a slight v neck. It had sheer material over the bodice of the dress and a bent that wound around the waist. She had her hair down in curls and purple eyeshadow that worked with her dark skin tone and made her eyes pop.

At first Caitlin was a little disappointed that her mother had refused to come and see her before the wedding but now she was so grateful that she had Iris and thought of her as the sister she never had.

"Barry is going to flip when he sees you" Iris said as she slipped the simple diamond studs Joe had bought for Caitlin into her ears.

"Thanks, I can't believe it's finally happening" Caitlin says as they begin to go downstairs to the car that'll take them to the wedding.

"I know, it's so exciting! And soon your little girl will be here" Iris says gesturing to Caitlin's swollen stomach.

"About that, I know that it was kind of assumed but Barry and I were wondering, will you be her godmother?"

Iris squeals and envelops Caitlin in a hug "Of course I'll be godmother! Oh this little girl is going to be so spoiled!"

They head to where the wedding is being held and soon enough they are there. There are fairy lights adoring the trees that surround the aisle and neat little rows of wooden chairs full of guests. The aisle had white petals strewn down it and bushes of white roses and the end of each row. At the end of the aisle was a wooden arch, it had white roses, sunflowers, bluebells and carnations wound through the branches and from the top hung strands of diamonds and pearls.

Under that arch was Barry, standing in his black tuxedo with Cisco next to him as his best man and nervously waiting for Caitlin to make her way down the aisle. Iris peeked around the corner and when she saw it was time she gave Barry a thumbs up. She then turned and handed Caitlin her bouquet of sunflowers, daisies, lavender and bluebells. The music starts to play and Iris makes her way down the aisle, a big smile on her face as she walks.

"You are one lucky man" she whispers to Barry when she makes it down the aisle. He begins to get antsy, stretching his neck out to see if her can catch a glimpse of his bride, finally 'Turning Pages' by Sleeping at Last starts to play and he is taken back when he sees her for the first time.

His faces lights up with a smile as they lock eyes and he can feel tears welling up as she gets closer to him. When she is almost to the end of the aisle he decides he can't wait anymore and rushes down to meet her halfway much to everyone's amusement. She laughs tearfully as he takes her hand and walks with her the rest of the aisle.

"You look incredible" he whispers as they join hands and everyone sits down. The minister begins to talk and Barry can't help but get lost in Caitlin's eyes, before he knows it Cisco is nudging his shoulder.

"Dude, your vows" he whispers and only now does he notice everyone is waiting for him to speak.

"Right… sorry" he chuckles nervously and he locks his eyes with Caitlin again.

"Caitlin Snow, you are the love of my life. Every day I wake up and I wonder just how I got so lucky, you are my soul mate, my other half, my heart. You continue to amaze me every day and I cannot wait to spend the rest of my life with you. I promise to love you until I take my last breath, to not run when things get hard, to be someone you can rely on. I love you so much"

Caitlin has begun to cry by now, delicate tears leaking out of the corner of her eyes and thankfully not smudging her waterproof mascara. Thank you Iris. She wipes the tears away with her finger before retaking Barry's hands and clearing her throat.

"Barry, I am so terribly in love with you. I think of the other 7 billion people on this planet and I cannot believe that I was so lucky to fall in love with such a caring, brave, kind, wonderful man. I promise to do my best to be the wife that you deserve and make you as happy as you have made me. This baby and I love you so much, and we're going to love you for as long as we're on this earth."

Barry is crying a little now and when Cisco hands him the ring he passes a tissue which Barry takes gratefully. He slips the thin silver, diamond studded band onto Caitlin's finger and then she slips the silver band onto his.

Finally, the minister declares the man and wife and tells Barry he can kiss his bride.

"Finally" he says sweeping Caitlin into his arms and kissing her lovingly while their guests clap. Barry pulls away and laughs slightly while Caitlin flashes him a smile and takes his hand again. They make their way back down the aisle while everyone throws petals at them and rush to the car that will take them to the reception.

As soon as the door is closed Barry is kissing Caitlin again, "I love you so much" he says as he kisses all over her face.

"I love you too" she giggles.

Barry stops when he feels a sharp jab against his stomach, "Was that a kick?" he asks as he pulls away, placing a hand on Caitlin's stomach.

"she's offering her congratulations" Caitlin chuckles, holding her hand over his.

"We did it. We're married!" he exclaims, keeping a hand on her stomach as he looks back up.

"I know; I love you Barry Allen"

"And I love you Caitlin Allen"

….

The reception was held in a hall nearby, fairy lights were strung across the room and large arrangements of sunflowers, orchids, daisies, bluebells, lavender and white roses were in the middle of the circular tables covered in a lace tablecloth. Candles littered the tables and the plates and cutlery were gold in colour.

Above the dancefloor hung a magnificent chandelier and the room was decorated with flowers and square lanterns that hung from the fairy lights. The wedding cake was four tiers and was covered in assorted flowers and berries, making it stand out in the room.

The DJ announced Barry and Caitlin into the room for the first time as a couple, everyone cheered as they came in, hands intertwined and giant smiles on their faces.

'Light' by Sleeping at Last began to play and Barry lead Caitlin on the dancefloor, one hand resting on her waist while the other wound with one of hers and the other rested on his shoulder. They began to move to the music slowly, never taking their eyes off each other as they moved to the melody.

"So, are you happy?" Barry asked as they swayed to the music

"Ridiculously happy" she says, capturing his lips in a sweet kiss, "What about you?"

"The happiest"

After the song finishes everyone is invited onto the dancefloor as the opening notes from John Legends 'All of Me' fill the room, Barry grabs Caitlin's hand and leads her towards the front table where they would be sitting.

"Your daughter is kicking up a storm" she says as he helps her sit in her chair

"My daughter?" he asks quirking a brow "What happened to our daughter?"

"Oh no she's your daughter when she's kicking me in the ribs, when she's good she's mine" she said in a joking tone

"Is that so?" he says, a smile breaking on his face as he leans in

"Uh huh" she laughs softly as he kisses her lovingly

"God you're beautiful" he says when he pulls back, tucking a stray hair that fell loose behind her ear.

"I feel like a cow" she says, blushing as she places a hand on her belly.

"Stop. You are the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. I'm so happy you're my wife Cait" he kisses her again, only breaking away when Joe and Henry interrupted them to say their congratulations.

Soon enough it's time for the speeches and Iris goes up first.

"Barry, Caitlin. I am so happy for the two of you, When I see the way you two look at each other I know that this is true love. Barry, you're like a brother to me and as your 'sister' I feel it's my duty to share embarrassing stories at your wedding. When we were younger I would make Barry play dress-ups with me, we'd dress as princesses or pirates. Whatever I felt like. One time I made us dress as a bride and groom and I remember Barry saying that he would only ever get married to his soulmate. I now know that he wasn't joking. I am so happy to gain a sister today and welcome such a beautiful, caring woman into our family. What you two share is the deepest purest form of love and I am so so happy for you. Welcome to the family Caitlin!" she raised her glass and everyone raised their with her.

Then it was Cisco's turn "Barry ad Caitlin, you two are my best friends, you're practically family and I couldn't be happier that you two found each other, I know that you two are going to be happy for many years to come and I know that that little girl is the luckiest girl in the world to have the two of you for parents. You guys have had a few ups and downs I'll admit but every time you came out stronger and I know that I don't have to wish you luck in your new life together because you don't need luck, only each other. To Barry and Caitlin!" Cisco raised his glass and echoes of 'To Barry and Caitlin' filled the room.

Finally, Barry cleared his throat, standing up "Hi everyone. Cait and I would just like to thank everyone for coming and witnessing us become one. It means so much to see all of you here and we know that our daughter is going to have such a big family. Caitlin Snow, words cannot describe how happy you have made me by becoming my wife. You are my soulmate, my rock, my other half and I am a better person for knowing you. I hope that our daughter is just like you, warm and kind and so incredibly beautiful. I didn't know how to put into words how you make me feel so I thought I'd do something else"

He nods at the DJ who presses play and the opening chords of 500 miles by Sleeping at Last (Yes I know but I really like them) starts to fill the room.

 _When I wake up yeah I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who wakes up next to you_

 _When I go out yeah I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who goes along with you_

 _If I get drunk yes I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who gets drunk next to you_

 _And if I have yeah I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who's havering to you_

Caitlin starts to cry, happy tears streaming down her face as she covers her mouth with her hands. Iris is busy recording everything on her phone and resists the urge to let out the tears welling as she watches Barry declare his love.

 _But I would walk 500 miles_

 _And I would walk 500 more_

 _Just to be the man who walked 1, 000 miles_

 _To fall down at your door_

 _When I'm working yes I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who's working hard for you_

 _And when the money comes in for the work I'll do_

 _I'll pass almost every penny on to you_

 _When I come home yeah I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who comes back home to you_

 _And if I grow old well I know I'm gonna be_

 _I'm gonna be the man who's growing old with you_

As the music stops everyone starts clapping and Caitlin stands up, cupping Barry's face with her hands she pulls him down to her, embracing him in a passionate kiss. When she pulls away he brushes away the stray tears with his thumb while she whispers "I love you so much"

They cut the cake next, laughing as they smash bits of cake into each other's mouths and smear icing onto each other's faces. Caitlin throws the bouquet and Jesse catches it, much to Wells' mortification. She blushes and Caitlin catches her quickly glancing at Wally.

' _Hmm, maybe there was something there'_ Caitlin thought to herself as she watched them interact.

She turns bright red when it's time for the garter toss, covering her face with her hands as Barry goes under her dress. She squeals when she feels him press a kiss to her inner thigh before removing the garter with his teeth and tossing it into the crowd. A scarlet faced Wally catches it, averting his eyes to the ground.

Soon it's time for the newlyweds to go, an old-fashioned car is out the front with tin cans tied to the back. They embrace their family and shout their thanks before hopping in the car and driving away.

"So Mrs Allen, ready to go on our honeymoon?" Barry asks as he drives to the airport. They were going to London for a week for their honeymoon.

"Mrs Allen, I love the way that sounds" she says leaning over and kissing his shoulder "Just a quick question, how much of our honeymoon is going to be spent in a bedroom?"

He smirks "I don't plan on letting you go for at least two days, is that a problem?"

"On the contrary, I was going to suggest three days but if two is going to tire you out.."

"Oh I'll show you tired"

"I'm looking forward to it

/

Pictures are on my profile, for the arch just imagine the flowers are different and for iris's dress just imagine it's a different colour


	16. Not Now

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 16

…..

(Caitlin's POV)

"Get out, get out, get out!" I shout at my 38-week pregnant stomach. It's been two months since the wedding and I was more than ready to have this baby. We moved into a two-bedroom apartment nearby the lab, we wanted to move into a house later on when we had the money for it.

"Babe you okay?" Barry yells from the kitchen where he is making breakfast

"Why won't she come out?" I shout, groaning as I sit up in the bed, pressing my hand against my back where it was aching.

"She probably doesn't want to; I mean it's warm and cosy in there and free room service" he says with a small laugh as he brings in a tray of food for the both of us.

"I am not a hotel! I just want her to come already" I groan as he lays the tray on the bed.

"She will, when she's ready" he says pressing a kiss to my forehead and passing me a piece of French toast as he sits on the bed next to me.

"How's the nursery going?" I ask as munch on the piece of toast.

"All done, you can come have a look if you want" he says brushing his hands on his pyjama pants and offering me his hand.

I roll my eyes and take his hand, letting him tug me out of bed. He pulls me to the other bedroom in our apartment and flicks on the lights. I am breath taken by the nursery he's managed to put together.

The walls are a light yellow, daisies printed on the crib just over the crib. The crib is white, with floral bedding and yellow and pink blankets. Hanging over the crib is a star mobile, there is a white rocking chair in the corner of the room and a white changing table and dresser opposite the crib. There's a large floral rug in the middle of the room and when I turn around there's a large shelf stuffed with assorted stuffed animals. I go the dresser and pick up the white onesie lying on top, in gold writing on the front it reads 'I love my mummy'.

I feel the urge to cry and don't know if it's my hormones this time, I lay the onesie back down and wrap my arms around Barry, repeatedly kissing his cheek "I love it! I love you! Thank you!"

"well know we know when she eventually comes has a place to sleep" he says pulling me back out of the room. We finish off our breakfast and get dressed and then head down to the lab. Barry isn't particularly happy about me being in the lab while 9 months pregnant but at least this way if I go into labour he's right beside me.

Cisco seems worried when we walk in rushing up to us in a panic "Guys we have a problem"

I frown and go to sit by my desk, my back hurting again "What kind of problem?"

"A metahuman one. There have been reports of a speedster causing havoc in the city, a one in a black suit"

"Zoom" Barry groans, running a hand through his hair.

"Yes and he keeps opening portals back to his world so I can't keep track of him. He must have built something in his world"

"Well what do we do? That formula Wells and I engineered should slow him down but how are supposed to get him if he's flashing back to his world all the time?" I ask, placing a hand on my stomach.

"I'll see if I can make something that will disrupt whatever he's using" Cisco says, walking over to his station.

"Maybe you should go home, It's not safe here. Not if Zoom's back" Barry says, worry etched on his face.

"No way, I'm not going anywhere. Besides Zoom could just as easily find out where we live. I'm safer here with you" I argue. I can see that Barry is hesitant to let me stay so I give him one of my best steely glares and he gives in

"Fine, but you are not going anywhere without someone with you ok?" I roll my eyes in agreement and turn back to my work, getting the serum into a dart so Barry can hit Zoom with it easier. My back aches as I lean over my desk so I take a break, rubbing circles into it. It was giving me such trouble today.

All of a sudden Cisco began yelling for us and an alarm started blaring, I waddled and yes I mean waddled over to Cisco's desk with Barry and looked over Cisco's shoulder to see what he was looking at.

In the middle of the city a new portal had opened, I could see Zoom nearby, attacking civilians as they ran in fear. Within a second Barry had flashed into his suit and gave me a quick kiss before grabbing the darts and flashing to where Zoom was.

I watched as Barry appeared on the screen "Zoom!"

Cisco began to frantically type on his computer, setting up the thing that would hopefully shut down the portal. Sure enough the portal started to flicker before disappearing completely. Zoom yelled in anger, turning on Barry.

"What have you done?"

"You're not escaping this time, it's over Zoom!" Barry shouts, getting ready to shoot him with the dart.

You can see even under the mask that Zoom is smirking "On the contrary Flash, I'm just getting started" he flashes away, leaving Barry standing there confused.

"What was that about?" he asked, speaking into his comms.

I'm about to reply when the lights flicker, alarms start to blare and when I see look to the cameras from outside I can see a blue streak rushing towards the lab.

"Oh god, run!" I shout, pushing Cisco up and towards our saferoom

"Cait? Cait what's going on!" Barry's frantic voice fill my ears.

"He's here, he's trying to get into the lab" I cry as I try to go as fast as I can in my condition.

I hear Barry curse and the tell-tale sound of him running at the same time the glass door shatters. I scream as Zoom appears in the doorway. I don't even have time to shout for Barry before Zoom flashes away with me, knocking me out in the process.

././././././././

I wake on the floor, my back aching from the position I'm in. My hands are cuffed to a bedpost, making me lean forward and I notice that my ankles are tied too.

"Good to see you're awake" I jump as Zoom's voice fills the room, I turn as much as I can and see him standing in the doorway.

"He's going to kill you" I snap, glaring at him from the floor.

"You still think that he has the upper hand? I have his pregnant wife, he knows that if he doesn't do exactly what I say I'll kill the both of you" he sneers and I look away, trying to calm down and slow my breathing.

"You're going to lose, and when you do he will send you straight back to hell where you belong" I spit and for a second I think he is going to hit me, his raised hand stopping mid-air.

"If you want that baby to ever draw its first breath you'd be wise to stop talking" he snaps storming off, I take a deep breath looking around the room, how was I going to get out of this one?

…

Zoom comes back in a couple of hours later, my back is throbbing from the awkward position I'm in and I glare as he chucks a small try of food in front of me.

"If you haven't noticed my hands are cuffed. How am I supposed to eat that?" I snap

"Nice try Caitlin, I'll feed you of course" he says taking a spoonful of the greyish mush on the plate and raising it to my mouth. I turn away, refusing to eat any of it.

"I'm not hungry"

"C'mon, think about the baby inside you" he says raising it again.

"I said. I'm. Not. Hungry!" I shout and in a fit of rage he throws the tray at the wall, the crash it makes making me jump.

"Damnit Caitlin stop being so difficult!" he yells

"You kidnapped me! Again! How exactly should I be acting? You know Barry will come for us. Face it Jay there's no way out of t-Ahh!" I hiss as a cramp passes through my lower stomach making me lean forward against the strain of the handcuffs trying me to the bed.

'Oh no, please no. Not now baby, Mummy can't go into labour now' I beg the unborn child inside me

Jay catches my hiss and smirks, putting two and two together "Well I think I'll leave you to get some rest Caitlin. You're going to need it in a few hours" he says leaving me on the floor, wrists cuffed to the bed and in the beginning of labour.

I begin to weep, sending out a prayer and hoping that somehow Barry can hear me.

'Please find us Barry, please'

….


	17. Welcome To The World

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 17

Apologies for a few days ago when I got my stories mixed up, trying to post things while on 2 hours of sleep never ends well.

…

Caitlin's POV

I groaned as another contraction ripped through my body, leaning against the bedpost my wrists were cuffed to. It had been 6 hours since I realised I was in labour and my contractions were getting stronger and closer together. Zoom had allowed my feet to be untied but he had refused to let me go or to get a doctor, me going into labour seemed to please him immensely.

"How's it going Caitlin?" he smirked as he walked into the room, towels in his hands.

"How do you think it's going? My contractions are only 5 minutes apart please, please just get a doctor" I cry

"Sorry Caitlin no can do, but you know what? I'm about to call your precious flash and I'll even let you speak to him. Let him know he's about to be a father" he sneered as he pulled out a phone.

I watched desperately as he dialled Barry's number, holding my breath as I waited for him to pick up.

"Hello Flash" he said as Barry answered, a smug look on his face "Tsk tsk Allen, you are in no position to be threatening. Or do you want me to kill your wife and unborn child?" I shudder a tear leaking out of my eye.

"Now Flash here's what I want from you, I want you to shut down whatever you're using to stop my portals and then I want you to come and find me. I'm sure that won't be too hard for you. You and I are going to have one final fight, speedster against speedster"

I groan as another contraction starts, holding onto the bed as the pain tears through my lower stomach. Zoom glances at me "Yes that's her…. you want to talk to her? Sure, I'll put her on" he says with a smirk, thrusting the phone in my direction.

I grasp it with trembling hands and manage to press it to my ear even with the cuffs on "B-Barry?" I sob into the phone

"Cait! Are you okay? Has he hurt you? I'm going to get you out of this I promise" his frantic voice says through the phone

"Barry… it's happening. The baby, s-she's coming. I'm in labour" I cry out

"What? Are you sure? Oh god! Okay I'm coming to get you out of there Caitlin I promise. Everything will be okay" I want to tell him that I love him, that I believe in him but Jay snatches the phone from my grasp before I can do so.

"One hour Flash. Turn off your machine and come find me in the next hour and perhaps you'll get to see your child being born" he sneers before hanging up.

I gasp as the feeling of something wet runs down my legs, I look down and notice that my waters have broken "m-my water just broke" I stutter.

"hmm, maybe the baby will get here before he does. I'll send someone to clean this up" he says, leaving me on my own again.

I feel the baby kick from inside me and whisper to her comfortingly "It's alright, daddy's coming. He'll get us out of here".

I just hoped that he'd get to be there for the birth of his child.

…

An hour passed slowly, agonizing contractions coming every three minutes now. Zoom still refused to get a doctor but I could tell that it wouldn't be long. I pulled at the cuffs on my wrists again in futile, the metal just wouldn't break no matter how hard I pulled. I cried out as another contraction hit just as a loud crash could be heard from downstairs.

Once the contraction had passed and my breathing slowed I strained to listen to what was going on downstairs. I could hear Barry and Jay's voices but there was another that I didn't recognize. Whatever was going on, it was violent, loud smashes and yells echoing through the abandoned apartment building he was keeping me in.

I had another 3 contractions before everything went quiet. My heart stopped at the thought of Barry dying but that thought was soon brushed away when I heard his voice calling out for me "Caitlin?! Babe where are you?"

"Barry! I'm u-Ah!" I cried out as another contraction hit, tensing up against the bedpost. Barry was by my side in a flash (pun intended), "Cait? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"I'm fine… I'm just…. Having a contraction. Zoom?" I ask through a clenched jaw, my hands curled into fists.

"Dead, he's gone" he says as he quickly breaks the cuffs off and that's when I notice the other person in the room, he's old and in a suit, similar to Barry's only he has a helmet type thing on his head "Who is that?" I pant tiredly

"That is Jay Garrick, the real one… it's a long story but right now we need to focus on you. Do you think you can stand?" he asks holding my arm and I nod, wincing and slowly getting to my feet.

As soon as I straighten out a contraction hits and my knees buckle and I fall backwards, Barry quickly catches me and I groan, squeezing his shoulder until it passes. He picks me up bridal style in his arms "I'm going to get you to a hospital Cait"

I groan, shaking my head "No, no hospitals."

"What? Caitlin you're in labour! You need to see a doctor" he argues

"No hospitals…. The baby could be a metahuman, they'll want to do tests" I pant "Take me to the lab, there's equipment there. I've been preparing for weeks and Wells knows what to do"

He sighs, realising that now wasn't the time to argue and flashes us to the lab. A contraction it's just as we enter and I cry out, tensing in Barry's arms.

"Wells! Cisco get Wells, Caitlin's having the baby!" he shouts as he rushes me to the med bay. Wells comes rushing in and helps him lay me on the bed.

"How far apart are the contractions?"

"Every two to three minutes but they're getting stronger. I think I might have been having them all day but just thought it was back pain" I pant as he turns away while I remove my underwear and pull my dress up, covering my lower half with a blanket.

"Okay, I'm just going to examine you. Just to make sure everything is going ok. Ok?" he asks, putting on some gloves.

I nod and look at Barry, focusing on his face as Wells does the examination "Okay well you're moving pretty quickly, you're already at 9 centimetres, one more and we can start pushing"

I groan, lying on the bed "Only your child would try and flash its way out of my uterus" I groan as Barry chuckles. Another contraction starts and I grab Barry's hand, squeezing as the pain rips through me and crying out.

"it's okay, it's okay. You're doing so good Cait" he murmurs into my ear, brushing my hair back with his other hand.

I whimper, tears spilling out the corner of my eyes as the contraction continues, Barry holds my hand the whole time, whispering comforting words in my ear until it subsides and I relax against the bed again.

"We haven't picked a name out yet" I pant, taking a sip of water from the cup he hands me.

"I thought it was between Violet or Daisy, we could always go back to the board again" he says referencing the board we had at home with possible names on it.

"I don't think we have that much time"

"Well maybe we'll know it when she comes, you know how some parents say they just know when they see them for the first time? Maybe it'll happen to us" he says hopefully.

I have contractions for the next hour, they come every minute now and finally Wells says that I'm ten centimetres. Cisco brings in some blankets and wishes the both of us luck before leaving hurriedly, not wanting to witness the miracle of childbirth.

My legs are propped up, Barry is holding one back with one hand while supporting my back with the other, sitting on the bed next to me.

"Okay Caitlin, on the next contraction you need to push" he says from between my legs while I nod tiredly at him.

"You're doing so great babe, just a little bit longer and our baby will be here" Barry says encouragingly.

Another contraction starts and I let out a scream as Wells tells me to push, leaning forward in the bed. My face is wet with sweat and despite Barry tying it up, most of my hair has fallen out of the bun it was in and now sticks to my face.

"..9-10 okay you can have a little breath before the next one starts" Wells says

I lie on the bed, exhausted and in a lot of pain "Barry, Barry it hurts" I sob

"I know babe, I know. But you are doing so great and you are so strong. It'll only be a little longer" he says pressing my shoulder.

I feel my stomach tense up as another one starts and groan leaving forward and bearing down with all my strength. This pain was indescribable, like a million knives were digging into my lower body. We go like this for the next half an hour before I can't take it anymore, breaking down sobbing in exhaustion and pain.

"I can't… I-I can't do this anymore" I sob falling back against Barry

"Yes, yes you can! You are the strongest person I know Cait. You can do this, just a few more pushes and we'll have our daughter" Barry encourages, squeezing my

I nod, my body trembling slightly from exhaustion as he wipes my brow quickly before putting his hand back on my back. Another contraction starts and I let out a piercing scream, grabbing my knees as I push again.

"Okay I can see the head! Another couple of pushes and she'll be here" Wells announces, getting the clamp and scissors ready to cut the cord.

I lean against Barry, my head against his chest as I take a few seconds to rest before the next contraction "We're about to be parents" I say tiredly

"I know, I love you so much" he says kissing the back of my head.

"Okay Caitlin ready to go again?"

I take a deep breath and push when the contraction hits, my lower body feels as if someone has lit it on fire and I can barely hear Barry or Wells talking to me, I'm only focused on getting this baby out of me.

"Okay her head's out! One more big push Caitlin!" Wells shouts and I lean forward, pushing as hard as I can and letting out one final cry as I feel her slip from my body.

I fall back against Barry, her cry echoes through the room and Wells holds up a crying, squirmy baby. He quickly wraps her in one of the red blankets Cisco had brought in and passes her to my outstretched arms. I cradle her against my chest, running my fingers over her head and crying.

"She's here, she's really here" I sob as the baby starts to quieten down in my arms. Barry shifts from behind me to beside me on the bed, staring down at our daughter.

"Hey sweetheart, we've waited so long to meet you" he coos, running his forefinger over one of her chubby clenched fists and breaking out a smile when her hand clasps his finger.

"She knows her daddy" I say, gently rocking her in my arms "She has your eyes" I say as she opens her eyes and peeks up at us. Little green replicas of Barry's stare at me.

"She's beautiful, just like her mother. I love you so much" he says, gently capturing my lips with his. The baby makes a small whimper which breaks us apart.

"I guess she doesn't enjoy being squished between us huh? I'm sorry sweetheart" he coos, brushing his finger over her cheek.

"Barry" I say as I watch him interact with our daughter

"Yes?"

"What do you think of calling her Violet?" I ask

"Violet. Violet Nora Allen. It's perfect" he says with a smile, I look down at the baby who is looking up at me. She nuzzles close against me and I feel my heart swell with love.

"Welcome to the world Violet Nora Allen"

…..


	18. First Few Days

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 18

….

Caitlin's POV

I was woken from my sleep by the sound of a shrill cry, I groaned, shifting in the bed. I was sore from yesterday's events and it took me a few seconds to get out of bed, my lower body aching. I slowly walked to the bassinet in our room. Once we were given the okay and Violet had the necessary injections and tests we'd headed straight home, telling everyone that after the hectic birth we needed time to rest and that they could visit the next day.

Violet was squirming in the bassinet, her eyes closed and her little pink mouth wide open as she cried "Shhhh" I hushed as I carefully lifted her out of the bassinet "Hey sweetheart, what's the matter?" I cooed as I checked her diaper. She didn't need changing so I settled down back onto the bed next to a just waking Barry.

"Sorry, I think she's hungry" I say as I pull down the front of my shirt and bring her to my breast, it takes a while but eventually she latches on, I let a little hiss as she does, tears spring to my eyes and Barry sits up immediately asking what's wrong.

"It's fine, just hurts. It's supposed to" I say reassuringly, giving his hand a squeeze with one hand while the other supports Violet. He stares down at our daughter, brushing his finger over her cheek as she feeds.

"She's perfect" he says in awe as he watches her.

"She is, she looks like you" I say as I look down at my daughter.

"What? No, she's a perfect replica of her mother. Look at her little mouth, that is definitely you mouth"

"Let's hope she doesn't inherit my habit of biting her lip then" I say and he laughs, sitting up on the bed so we are level.

"I love it when you bite your lip" he says, giving me a gentle kiss "Thank you"

I frown "What for?"

"For her. For giving me a family, I love you so much Caitlin Snow"

"It's Allen now mister, and I didn't make her by myself. You had a hand in it too you know" I say with a smirk.

"I know but you're the one who had to literally push her out of you, and after everything you had been through… If I had lost either of you" he stops, the events of yesterday playing out in his head.

I take his face with my free hand "Hey, we're not going anywhere. We're fine"

"I know but-"

"No buts, Let's just focus on the beautiful little girl we have okay? Let go of all the other stuff"

"But-"

"Barry"

"Okay, okay I'll let it go" he huffs, turning back to our daughter. She soon drifts off to sleep again. I make to get up to put her back in the bed but I groan as I move, my lower body in agony again. Barry notices and comes over, carefully taking her out of my arms.

"Rest Cait, I've got her" he says, rocking her in his arms as he takes her over to the bassinet. I watch him settle her and eventually I drift back off to sleep.

…..

Less than two hours later I woken by her cry again, Barry is taking her out of the bassinet "Sorry, I think she needs a change" he says as he hushes her, cradling her against his chest. I make my way to get up but he shakes his head "I've got her, I'll bring her back in a sec"

I groan, shifting in the bed as I get up. I go out into the lounge room and grab a glass of cold water to help keep my fluids up. Barry comes back in as I settle on the couch.

"Cait? Why are you out of bed?"

"I can't just sleep all day Barry, this way I can get up and move around while keeping an eye on her" I say as he passes her into my arms, I try to feed her again and feel the same sharp pain as before, wincing as her mouth starts to suck.

"You sure that that's normal?" he asks as he sits down.

"Yeah, the lactation nurse at the hospital said it would hurt for the first couple of weeks, I'll manage" I say as I prop her up on the nursing pillow.

"You want me to make you something to eat?" He asks and a smile lights up on my face.

"Yes! I'm starving!" I groan

He flashes into the kitchen and soon comes back with some leftover pasta from the other night. He helps me eat while I nurse and soon enough Violet pulls away, asleep again.

Barry takes her while I take a quick shower, carefully washing my aching body. When I come out Barry is asleep on the bed, Violet in her bassinet. I smile and walk back out and slowly clean up a little bit, doing a load of washing and tidying up before I hear Violet's shrill cry again.

"You can't be hungry again" I murmur as I take her out of the room, wanting Barry to have some sleep as well. I try feeding her but she's not interested, turning her head away and crying out.

"Shhh, Shhhhh sweetheart you're okay" I hush, rocking her in my arms. She still cries and I slowly get up, walking around the room, rocking her "Come on, calm down for mummy"

I try changing her, I try singing to her, I try putting on peaceful music but nothing seems to calm her. I get out the baby sling that we had bought and put her in it, hoping my heartbeat with calm her down but to no use.

Barry eventually comes out, rubbing his eyes "Why didn't you come get me?"

"I didn't wake to wake you" I say as rock her.

"Here, I'll take her. Go lie down" he says as he takes the baby. She calms almost instantly and he smiles "Hey, she just wanted her daddy. Are you going to be a daddy's girl huh?"

I let him bond with the baby and go to lie down, completely exhausted already.

…..

I wake about every two hours to feed, Barry and I taking turns sleeping while she does. After a day alone we tell everyone that it's okay to come over despite the complete exhaustion we're both suffering from.

Iris squeals as she comes in, purple and pink balloons in her hands as she comes over to where we're situated on the couch, Violet for once awake in my arms. Joe and Henry come behind her, both with stuffed bears in their hands. Cisco comes in with what looks like almost an entire toy store, bright coloured balloons and toys stuffed in his arms.

"Oh, she's beautiful guys" Iris gushes as she takes a peek "Oh she has your eyes Barry!"

"Thanks, guys this is Violet Nora Allen" he announces and Henry gasps at the mention of his late wife.

He comes over, looking at his granddaughter "She's perfect Caitlin. Barry your mum would have been so proud" he says clapping Barry on the back

"Can I hold her?" Iris asks and I nod, gently passing her to Iris and making sure she's being held correctly.

"Hi Violet, I'm your auntie Iris. I am going to spoil you so much" she coos as she bounces the baby in her arms.

"Okay, okay my turn, she was literally born meters from me and I still haven't gotten a hold" Cisco says, pushing past as we laugh.

Everyone gets a turn holding her before she cries out "She's probably hungry, sorry" I say taking her from Joe and back into my room. Once she's been fed and is back to sleep I go back out, sitting on the couch next to Barry who kisses my head as I curl up against him.

"How are you feeling Caitlin?" Iris asks

"uh, okay… exhausted" I say with a laugh "We both are, but it's worth it. She's incredible"

"She's precious, I'm so glad everything went well. We were so scared when we heard you'd been taken" Iris says gesturing to Joe

"It was awful but I'm trying not to think about it. She's healthy and that's all that matters" I say intertwining my hand with Barry's.

"Well you guys need to rest so we'll hit the road. We'll come around in a few days if that's ok" Joe says and I tiredly nod.

When they go, I fall against Barry on the couch "I'm sooo tired" I groan, turning my head into his shoulder.

"Come on, we'll try and have a nap before she wakes up" he says pulling me off the couch and into our room.

We're woken again an hour later.


	19. Threats and Sleep Deprivation

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 19

…..

Life with a newborn is hard, much harder than anything anyone tells you. The first two weeks were great because I had Barry to help out but they needed him back at the lab eventually and now it was just Violet and I.

"Shhhh, shhhh c'mon baby girl just go to sleep. You must be tired, you've barely slept all day" I hushed as I rocked her in my arms, I had fed her, changed her, even tried singing to her but nothing seemed to be able to calm the screaming baby in my arms.

I gently laid her down in her pram, rocking it back and forth in a hope to sooth her and after about twenty minutes she started to drift off, her green eyes drooping shut. I sat down on the couch, still rocking the pram in case she woke up when Barry walked in, quietly closing the door behind him.

"How're my girls?" he asks, gently pressing a kiss to my head.

"Our daughter hates me" I groan, still rocking the pram.

"She does not hate you Cait"

"Oh really?" I say, raising a brow. I stop rocking the pram and immediately Violet starts to whimper.

Barry gently picks her up, holding he against his chest and almost instantly her whimpers start to quiet down "What's all the fuss about princess?"

"Seriously?! She has been crying all day but the second you pick her up she's fine"

"I guess she just missed her daddy, Caitlin you're doing great"

"Really? Because she's thrown up on me two times today! This is my last t-shirt since I haven't been able to do any washing in the last two days and I can't tell if it's vomit or breastmilk that's on the front of it because I have been in this shirt for two days. The house is a mess and the baby won't stop crying and I'm hideous" I rant

"Cait, hey stop. You are a great mother alright, and I can do the washing, you're the one who has to get up for feeds every 3 hours, I think I can manage some housework. And finally, even sleep deprived and covered in various bodily fluids, you are still the most beautiful woman I've ever seen. Now go and have a shower, we're going to have some father-daughter bonding time" he says, gently shoving me in the direction of the bathroom.

…..

He's quietly singing to her when I come out, freshly washed and feeling a whole lot better. They're on the couch, she's quietly laying in his arms as he softly sings her to sleep. I quietly walk up, sitting behind him on the couch just as he finishes the last chorus of 'Over the Rainbow'.

"She definitely prefers your singing, not that I can blame her" I say quietly not wanting to wake her up.

He smiles when he sees me "You feeling better?"

"Yeah, I think I'm just sleep deprived, she was really missing you today. I'm sorry for all the yelling" I say as I stare down at our sleeping daughter

"Cait, it's fine. And if you needed help why didn't you call?" He asks

"You could have been in the middle of something, I didn't want to pull you away from work. Plus, it made me feel like such a failure, having to ring you, I should be able to comfort my own child" I admit, shame filling me

"You're a great Mum Cait, she was just a bit fussy today. And I don't want you to feel like you can't call me, being the flash is a big responsibility yes, but you two are the most important things in my life. If you need me, for anything, just call me and I'll be here" he says.

I smile and give him a soft kiss before looking back down at Violet, comfortably nestled in his arms "I still can't believe we made something so… perfect. Just look at her" I say, brushing my hand against her auburn hair.

"I can, I mean she takes after you so how could she be anything other than perfect" Barry says and I scoff, rolling my eyes.

"C'mon cheesy, let's get her to bed before she wakes up screaming again" I say, getting up off the couch.

…..

Eventually, things get a tiny bit easier. I still get very little sleep and there are still days where Violet is incredibly fussy but eventually we begin to settle into assort of routine, I've also found that she likes to be close to my chest so I carry her around in her baby sling on days where she screams if she's not held. When she's almost four weeks old I bring her into the lab for her first visit.

Joe's face lights up when he sees the little baby in the carrier in my hands, he absolutely adores Violet and I have a feeling that he will spoil her when she's older. He immediately comes over and I laugh when he goes straight for the baby, carefully passing her over.

"Where's Barry? I wanted to surprise him" I ask once she's settled, not seeing him in the room.

"He's training, wants to be ready for Savitar. It's great to see you Caitlin, how's my goddaughter?" Cisco asks, greeting me with a hug

"Keeping me up at night" I laugh but then stop when I realise what he said "Wait Savitar? Did he come back again?"

Cisco looks confused, as if he expected me to know this information. When it became clear to him that I didn't he turned pink before mumbling "I-I'm going to go say hi to the baby" and walking off to where Joe was, Iris now cooing at Violet.

I go off to find Barry, heading to the training room where he is with Wells and Wally. Wally sees me first and comes over "Caitlin, hey. I didn't know you were coming today' he says as he gives me a quick hug

"Just a surprise visit" I say as Barry looks up, confusion at seeing me quickly changing to happiness "Can I talk to Barry alone for a second?"

They both nod and head upstairs, leaving me alone with him "Where's Violet?" he asks, looking for our daughter as he greets me with a kiss.

"She's upstairs with joe, I thought she was missing her daddy so I thought we'd come and visit…. Why didn't you say anything about Savitar?" I ask, watching as guilt and shock crosses his face quickly.

"W-Who told you?" he asks

"It doesn't matter, what matters is why _you_ didn't tell me"

He sighs, rubbing his face "I didn't want to worry you, you just had Violet"

"I appreciate that you didn't want to stress me out but babe, we're married. We're supposed to tell each other when something's bothering us. For better or for worse, right?"

"He threatened you" he blurts out, making me pause

"What?"

"He said that he was coming for you, I had Cisco vibe us into the future and he stabs you Cait, you die in my arms… I-I can't stop, not until he's dead. I won't lose you" he says

I take a few moments to process this, Savitar was coming for me, Cisco had vibed my death, what about Violet? If he was coming for me he'd surely be coming for her too?

"Okay… it's going to be okay. We'll figure this out, right? I can start coming in more and we'll all work this out together" I say, trying to ignore the feeling of panic rising from my chest

"Cait" Barry sighs, gently wrapping his fingers around my upper arms

"No Barry, we're not going to panic alright? Everything's going to be okay, do you… do you know when?" I ask and he sighs

"Soon, not exactly when but we know it's going to happen soon"

"Okay, well then I can start working today, I mean Violet's already here with me and I have her stuff. I can start looking at scans of his anatomy and see if he has any weaknesses" I start to ramble

"Caitlin, please stop" Barry asks

"No, I can't because we need to get working on this Barry, we don't have much time"

His hands move from my arms to my face "Cait, stop."

"No, no I can't. I can't okay because we have a daughter, a little girl who needs both her parents and I refuse to leave her. I won't leave her"

He hushes me and wipes the tears leaking from my eyes from my cheeks with his thumbs "He's not going to touch you alright? I won't let him. I swear on my own life I'll keep you safe"

I kiss him softly, giving him a small smile when I pull away "I trust you Barry, I know you'll fix this"

"I promise you I will, now come on. I want to see my little girl" he says, taking my hand and pulling me upstairs. He lets go when he spots Violet with Cisco "C'mon, hand over my daughter. Daddy wants a turn" he says, reaching out for Violet.

"Hello Princess, did you come to see daddy at work?" He coos, bouncing her lightly in his arms "I hope you've been good for your mum today"

"She actually hasn't been too bad, I think she knew we were coming to see you" I say, going over and smiling at my daughter "Now might be a good time to grab lunch, she's due for a feed soon"

He passes the baby back to me carefully "I'll go grab us something, I'll be back in a minute" he says quickly kissing my cheek before flashing off.

"So, Cait. How's motherhood?" Iris asks, coming over to make faces at her god-daughter

"Great, I mean I'm exhausted, this one demands to be fed every few hours and god she has a good set of lungs on her that's for sure but when I hold her and her little eyes look up at me, it's all worth it" I say, looking down at the baby looking up at me.

"We actually have a surprise for you, we were going to wait and let Barry show you but he gets all the fun, plus we're the ones who did all the work" Cisco announces, gesturing for us to follow him.

He leads us to one of the empty rooms nest to the medical bay that used to serve as an on-call room of sorts when Barry was in his coma, as his physician I didn't feel comfortable leaving him if he wasn't completely stable so from time to time I would stay overnight in the lab, ready to be up if anything changed with Barry's condition.

He opens the door to a dark room and leads me inside before flicking the switch, I let out a gasp as I look around the completely transformed room. The walls have been painted a light purple, Violet's name hanging in white block letters on the front wall. A crib, rocking chair and changing table have been set up along with an abundance of toys for when she got older.

"Cisco…what?" I stammer, speechless as I turn around

"We all chipped in and made it after Violet was born. We know you're going to be back to work soon and how hard it would be separating from Violet so we thought we'd set something up. That way you can visit as much as you want, and when you come back you can bring her with you"

"I…This is incredible guys, thank you" I say using my free arm to pull them into a group hug, Violet obviously does not enjoy being squished in the middle and voices her protest, crying loudly so I pull away.

"Sorry sweetheart, Mummy just wanted to thank her friends for the pretty room they made you" I say, rocking her in my arms.

She doesn't quiet down though, her little face turning slightly red as her cries get louder. She wriggles slightly in my arms, turning her head towards my chest and I know what she wants.

"Uh…sorry guys, I think she's hungry" I say, Cisco and Joe quickly make their way to the door while Iris laughs and grabs my bag for me before giving me some privacy. I sit in the rocking chair, opening my shirt and bra and bringing Violet to my chest. She thankfully latches quickly and I give a quick sigh, relaxing back onto the chair.

Barry comes in soon after, two takeaway containers in his hand "I got you a salad" he says, putting it on the table next to me "How's our kid doing?" he asks as he kneels down next to us

"She definitely takes after you, never stops eating" I say, watching as she feeds "I can only imagine what she'll be like when she's older"

"Yeah" he laughs "A little red headed girl running around, causing chaos"

I groan "Can't wait"

"Me neither" He says as he presses his lips to mine.


	20. Good day gone bad

Wouldn't That Save You

Chapter 20

(I don't own the flash)

 _It's been so long! I haven't been well recently so that's why it's taken song long to update, hopefully I will stay well now so I can update more regularly. Here's chapter 20!_

….

"Peek a boo! Hello precious girl, I see you!" I cooed as I lay on the floor of the loungeroom with Violet lying down on her play mat "Who's the prettiest girl in the world? Who? It's you!" I say as I gently tickle her stomach.

My six-week-old daughter gurgles in response, slightly moving her arms as I make faces at her, "You know Violet, you kept mummy up most of the night" she gurgles again and I can't help but smile at her "Yes, you did! Hopefully that means you'll sleep well today and mummy can get some things done yeah?"

She continues to stare up at me and I laugh "Is that your way of saying 'keep dreaming mum'?" I say, making a silly face at her. She smiles in response and I gasp, sitting up.

"Barry?" I call out, it's still early so he should be getting ready for work. When he doesn't answer, I shout again "Barry!"

He's out in a flash, hair wet from the shower and shirt not buttoned all the way up, he looks from me to Violet in a panic "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

"She just smiled" I say

He exhales in relief before breaking out in a smile "Her first smile? That's fantastic" he says sitting on the floor next to me.

We both lean over the baby, playing with her for the next few minutes until she smiles again. Barry laughs, kissing her cheek "Did you just smile at us princess? You're such a clever girl, just like your mother"

"You should take a photo, Iris will go nuts" I say, handing him my phone. We manage to get her to smile again and he quickly takes a snap which he sends to practically everyone we know before we head off to the lab.

As expected, everyone fawns over Violet when we arrive, spending the next twenty minutes trying to make her smile before she starts to fuss. I put her down in her makeshift nursery and take a baby monitor with me so I'll be able to hear when she wakes up and get to work.

The whole team has been working tirelessly on trying to find out more about Savitar, we recently welcomed a new person to the team. Julian Albert, one of Barry's colleagues from the police force and an apparent meta-human expert. He was also somewhat possessed by Savitar, Cisco hoping that maybe he could figure out how to make that connection go both ways. I don't how Barry managed to convince him to help us since when he talked about him I got the feeling they didn't get along but I was happy for the extra help none the less. Especially since I couldn't always be here, with Violet.

Julian and I looked over footage for about an hour, trying to figure out his suit and any possible weaknesses when we got an alert, notifying us that a meta-human was in the city. I got up, looking over the monitors with Cisco before calling out to Barry.

"Barry! You need to see this!"

He came running, looking at the monitors for a second before flashing into his suit. Savitar, metal armour and all, was standing outside the lab. Barry turned to me, grabbing my hand "take Violet and lock yourself somewhere safe. Don't answer unless it's me okay? I love you" he said pressing a quick kiss to my forehead before flashing off.

I run to the nursery, quickly taking a sleeping Violet out of her crib and locking myself and Julian inside. I'm just about to check on my daughter when an eerie voice speaks from behind me.

"You can run all you want, I will find you"

I turn, Julian's got that look on his face that he gets when Savitar is possessing him. I back up, forcing myself between him and the crib, he wasn't getting anywhere near my baby. My hands shake as I look around the room to see if there's something I can use to fight him off. My eyes fall on a small wooden chair, next to a play table for when she gets older.

"Such a sweet family. Mum, Dad and baby, it's a shame that that's going to change soon. She's very cute" Julian/Savitar says, moving towards us.

"You stay away from her" I snarl

"You can't stop me" he scoffs "Spending all your time trying to find a way to find me? You should be spending as much time with her as you can, after all… It's not like she's going to have any memories of you"

"Barry will stop you before you can lay a hand on me" I snap

He laughs, a cruel sound echoing from his mouth as he takes another step towards me "Not even the flash can save you… you know I was going to spare your child, her being an innocent. But there's always that chance she could take after her father… I don't need another speedster ruining things for me"

He grabs me, shoving me into the changing table and sending me to the floor with a cry, winded from hitting my ribs on the wood. Violet wakes up and begins to scream making me glance at him moving towards Violet again and I quickly grab the chair.

Getting up I snarl "get the hell away from my daughter" swinging the chair towards his head with a loud crack, sending him to the floor, unconscious.

I quickly pull myself up grabbing my screaming daughter out of the crib and checking her over before holding her close to me, tears springing to my eyes "You're alright sweetheart… we're okay"

I move as far away from Julian as I can, sliding to the floor I sit in the corner of the room, holding her close to my chest as I wait. I can hear fighting outside, along with the sound of Cisco yelling something I can't make out and I hold Violet closer, ready to shield her with my body if necessary.

She starts to cry louder, protesting being held in such a way and I hum quietly under my breath, trying to calm her down. I'm shaking, terrified that at any moment Savitar is going to burst in to take my or my baby's life. Tears leak from my eyes as I press my cheek against hers, no matter what, he was not going to hurt my child.

Five minutes' pass before I hear the door being unlocked, Barry's soothing voice filtering through the air "Cait? It's just me"

Violet's still screaming when he comes to kneel in front of the both of us, still in his flash suit, but without his mask on. He rubs Violet's back with one hand before glancing at the unconscious Julian across the room.

"What happened? Are you alright?" he asks frantically, checking us both over.

I shakily nod a couple of times before dissolving into tears, my trembling hands holding Violet in my arms. She's quieting down, little whimpers coming from her now as Barry brushes his hand over her head softly.

"h-he's not going to stop Barry" I sob, my voice shaking as I look at our daughter "we have to protect her from him"

He nods, kissing my forehead lightly before meeting my eyes again "Cait, nothing is going to happen to either of you, I promise"

"Promise me that you'll protect her first" I say, a few more tears leaking from my eyes "I don't care what happens to me, just as long as you're both alright"

"Caitlin, nothing is going to happen"

"Just promise me. Please Barry" I beg, I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to her, of remaining on this earth while she didn't.

I can tell it pains him but he nods, kissing me briefly before kissing Violet on the head.

"Don't worry Caitlin. I won't let anything happen to either of my girls"

…


End file.
